Wish I was single with a flat of my own. There's a gorgeous Polish girl in my work looking for a flatmate for 6 months. I don't think Mrs DevAdvocate would stand for it, or sit, lie down etc. You get the script.
Phone MI6 and tell them yer auld Da is a Muslamic fundamentalist and is going to blow up his plane over Beijing. This will see him arrested and parcelled off to a life of hell in Guantanamo bay and also the abandonment of your parents jolly to the Orient. Ergo yer Ma is free to press all you and the kids clobber. Yer welcome.