The HAIG vs PISKIE bet thread

Utterly shameful. I hope you've asked @brb to permanently amend his profile to reflect this bottle job ?

 

I've made a request.

 

Hiag has zero credability left. Not that he had much anyway.

He is a laughing stock to every prem clubs posters.

Id kinda feel a bit sorry for the Spurs lads, having to be associated with this bottle job, no self respect, attention seeking, dildo fingering, poor wum loser.

 

Sky Sports have put my statement up after my agent called for a press conference.

Quote by Spurlock, Spurs.


"I'll always be team Hiag by default because a lot of the insults are anti Spurs. I won't be encouraging anything of the sort.

I'd like to bring this saga to an end by signing a new 4 year contract. Hopefully we can all concentrate on the football now."

Cheers, thanks lads, cheers.

 

Team Shameless.

 

Blackpool/Vegas - we'll have different views on where.

 

We are crushed

 

What's wrong with Margate

 

Loyalty is rare these days.

 

Where do you want me to start?...

 

I will start you off. You can do the next bit, then maybe someone else can follow on etc.

It was a hot summer that year in 77. Mr and Mrs Hiag were going on holiday in Margate. They had just driven their Vauxhall Viva for 5 hours and finally arrived at Levys camping and caravan park, with baby Theo dildo Hiag crying in the back seat............

 

Least there's no bullion robbers living there

 

As they pulled up to the entrance of Levy's caravan park, Mrs HIAG exclaimed 'The brouchere said this place was 5 star ! Look at it, it's a ****hole. Where have you brought me?!' 'Yes only the best and most expensive accommodation for my family' HIAG blathered as he ignored her.

By now baby HIAG was becoming increasingly upset and wailed loudly. 'I can't take this **** anymore!' cried Mrs HIAG 'shut that child up!' With that HIAG grabbed the dildo out of his manbag and shoved it firmly in the baby's mouth. 'There, there' he tried to soothe the baby. 'What the **** are you doing ?!' Shouted Mrs HIAG. 'That's not how you use a dildo' With that, HIAG quickly took the dildo out of the youngsters mouth and sat quietly trying to find a hole in it to stick his finger. Mrs HIAG, now incandescent with rage turned to HIAG and said '.....................

 

It's no 50 Shades of HAIG but it's a start.

 

.

Can anyone follow on?

 

When you get that knock on your door...id peek through the upstairs curtain first...followed by a swift exit through the back window.

 

........."You clueless buffoon, you don't even know what to do with a simple marital aid, it's no wonder.....oh nothing"

HIAG looked up starring at his good lady wife, as she tried to calm down Jnr..."No wonder what?" he said, half wishing he hadn't asked, as the words hung in the air.

"I said nothing" Mrs HIAG snapped as she turned her ample back to HIAG and walked off to their superior static caravan....

HIAG knew there was something wrong.....and he knew he was likely to find out before the day was out. For now he grabbed the cases from the Viva and trudged after his wife and Jnr....when did her arse get that big? he mused, as she stepped up into their top end accommodation.......

 

All gone a bit kitchen sink. At least make it funny? You guys are no Osbournes.

 

Superior static caravan