I was almost always a centre back in my School days, despite being a skinny weakling who couldn't really head or tackle. I was always put there, I think, to cause the least amount of damage, which I found bizarre. I got played up front once and scored within seconds. Despite that, I kept getting played at centre back again after that, weird. Maybe if I was less shy I could have been the next Defoe...
Round pegs in hexagonal holes. I was always an inside right. Chazz out. Oh. Regulation 4 nowt to us. We're premier league ffs.
Will being pulled off by Nurse Charlie affect my eligibility for the MOM award in any way. If so I'm happy just to be substituted at half-time instead.
I'll play upfront. I was an extremely poor footballer until I discovered a pair of old style, ankle high, football boots while cleaning my grandmother's loft. The boots, which my grandfather had bought as a souvenir, had belonged, decades before, to a famous professional striker called Charles "Dead Shot" Keen. The boots possessed special abilities which turned me into a fantastic football player when I wore them. In addition to giving me the physical skill to score great goals, the boots also granted me the intuition to be in the right place at the right time on the pitch, leading me to feel that they had a "mind of their own". Every bleedin' week I seemed to lose them, just before an important final or whatever but they generally turned up just in time. We never ****ing lost. It got boring in the end. Also I was having constant identity crises. I mean, was it me or was it Dead Shot Keen? I became morose and paranoid. I threw the buggars away in the end.
I had a pair of 'Y' fronts like that with hidden powers. They had formally been owned and worn by Spunky O'Toole aka "The Ladies Lozenge"
Room for me in the squad? Surely if Ben is our regular left back..... Focking 'ell... 6"7 Play dirty enough to make De Jong and Pepe proud. Described as "Not the most technical, but tall and a great tackler" 13 years ago on our very professional website. I'd like to argue with the technical bit, shambles! Allam, feel free to send me a PM if you're interested.
I'll cover the goal. it'll be like sticking a space hopper down the khazi, nowt'll get past. Nailed on for a nil nil. If you're owt like a strikers arsehole up top, we'll piss it.
There's no finesse to my play, a bit agricultural and physical but fairly effective for scoring goals.
I was a goalkeeper (Chazz don't laugh) and then I stopped growing! After 3 glorious years as Marist B goalkeeper, two seasons of open age football at only 5'8" did for me! Played both versions of egg chasing after that...apart from 5 or 6 a-side teams.
Crikey I started as a right half for Marist and played most positions including goalkeeper. Saved a penalty v Middlesborough.
You got my position pretty much spot on too Chazz. I play(ed) midfield and am left footed. Not the fastest, but got cracking technique and passing. Up there with the best of 'em.
