USPGA 2016

I'll sell ye a set of clubs. John Letters triology. 350 bucks....bargain ma man.

 

The whit from the where now?

 

You widne last twa minutes on the links stumpy. Blawin oot yer arse greeting to get to the pub after wan hole.

"Ooo too hilly Aldo and wits wea awe this wind"

**** off ya blouse.

 

Ah widny have left the pub in the first place ya daft ****.

 

Pub isne open at T aff time of 6am ya fandango.

 

Aye but he's been in aw night. #lockin

 

Nae danger ye hiv to be liked for a lockin.

It's Gambol we are on about here ffs

 

**** yer golf. It's where twats go so they don't annoy the **** out the rest of us.

 

Why does that bother you?

 

We all know the truth: he's angry and resentful because spasticated *****s with mangled hands can't swing golf clubs.

 

It disny. I don't give a **** about golf one way or another

But, jeez these golfy types are a bit beely about it. Ma brother hates it when ah slag golf.

 

No need to get mean about it.

 

You should get up off your lard arse and play,you've some of the best courses in the world and I'll even lend you my shirt.

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It has to be said that the worst thing about golf is some of the clobber some ****s wear on the course. Ye wid think they got dressed in the dark.

 

Thanks, but no thanks.

 

Me and Gambol on the links. For a caddy he makes an excellent jaiky

 

Aye my brother wears some atrocious clobber but gets away with it playing off 5

 

fuxake

 

Jiffy slices wan into the icepole man.

 

You play off 5, Mick?