Off Topic Sunday morning, Ask Tel thread

Have you tried swarfega?

Alternatively, get a new applicator and use your finger to fish out any poo before applying.

Prevention rather than cure mate.

 

Tel,

Have you ever shagged a geordie bird?

 

Tel, would you recommend these to anybody?

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Who hasn't?

 

I don't know anybody who has feet bigger than a sofa.

So no.

 

Dear Tel.
Would you drink beer from a lasses shoe?
I have & found the flavour dramatically improved.
Regards.
William.

 

Dear Tel, would you drink beer from a lasses arsehole in what can be described as a beer enema, or arse brew on tap if you will.

 

Dear Tel,
My girlfriend came in last night with smeared lipstick and lovebites all over her neck. When I followed her into the bedroom I discovered that she wasn't wearing any kecks and she also had lovebites on her buttock cheeks. Do you think she is having an affair?
John

 

tel put aside what your many failings are and tell me is it true the best way to knock out a utd fan is to wait until they have a drink and then slam the toilet lid down.

 

Tel, how do you feel a ****ers who nobody likes invites themselves to your party?

 

or even your county , what dates and where ? All kidding aside