1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic New and improved your inventions in four words only!

Discussion in 'Barnsley' started by UTRs, Apr 24, 2016.

  1. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    Postpone girlfriend headache get-in
     
    #41
    Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  2. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    Reload fridge beer gizmo (also free of charge but could not fit in just four words)
     
    #42
    Wooperts_duck, kiwiqpr and San Diego like this.
  3. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    annoying neighbor revenge 100Ksubwoofer
     
    #43
  4. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    41,395
    Likes Received:
    103,334
    self tying shoe laces
     
    #44
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    116,036
    Likes Received:
    232,263
    just wear slip ons
     
    #45
    Didley Squat, UTRs and San Diego like this.
  6. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    41,395
    Likes Received:
    103,334
    I think those have already been invented mate <whistle>
     
    #46
    Didley Squat, UTRs and kiwiqpr like this.
  7. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    Wow, did that really happen, not one but two, yes two replys to this thread...



    Kiwi and SD, thanks and very kind of you both to take part. Please, you don't need to as you both feel awkward and sorry for me.

    I think it's hilarious that this thread failed so spectaculary<laugh>
     
    #47
  8. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    41,395
    Likes Received:
    103,334
    It's not that UTR's, it just takes me that long to think of anything :huh:
     
    #48
  9. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    41,395
    Likes Received:
    103,334
    Non-stick chewing gum
     
    #49
  10. San Diego

    San Diego Sir Mediator
    Forum Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2011
    Messages:
    41,395
    Likes Received:
    103,334
    road rage aggression meter

    (a camera inside your car that measures how angry you're getting. If it detects that you are about to explode in rage then the car stalls and internal washer jets soak you with antifreeze)
     
    #50

  11. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    Mate,it helps after a few beverages and going outside to get some not so fresh air if you get me...

    It doesn't make any difference to me intoxicated or not, I still post the same old guff, it's on tap 24/7 but I'm at peace with it<cheers>
     
    #51
  12. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    Real-time football match director

    So your teams back four were caught napping and have just conceded a sloppy goal.

    When you have Real-time football match director you can shout "Cut" just like a film director. You then have a quiet word with your defenders and then shout "take two, action"

    It should now be nil nil like it was supposed to be. Happy days!

    please log in to view this image
    please log in to view this image


    You get all this cr#p with it to take with you on match days!
     
    #52
  13. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2012
    Messages:
    30,193
    Likes Received:
    94,881
    New thread popularity measurer
     
    #53
  14. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,461
    Likes Received:
    65,060
    No product franchises 4 sale
     
    #54
  15. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,461
    Likes Received:
    65,060
    Honest President of FIFA
    Apply within.
     
    #55
  16. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,461
    Likes Received:
    65,060
    Good clean healthy cigarettes.
     
    #56
  17. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    Ok lads, this is it, I have a potential best seller on my hands for this next one...








    The anal power gouger strap on... Give the wife something speacial to remember on Valentine's day. It's ribbed for extra discomfort.....

    <laugh>
     
    #57
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2016
    kiwiqpr, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  18. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    That wasn't the one I was here to post about, I just made that one up on the spot as it's just offenceiv funny and just plain wrong.

    It's a wrong-un.... Get it.... Wrong one... Up the.....
     
    #58
    kiwiqpr, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  19. UTRs

    UTRs Senile Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    34,339
    Likes Received:
    74,245
    No this is it, the scrotum fresh no sweat on a humid say boxers..

    Just make them with those do not eat silica moister removal bags that you get in some delivery parcels. No more betty swollox on a hot sunny day...

    Oh the reason why they put warning do not eat on those bags is the stuff inside twists like whiskers supermeat..
     
    #59
    kiwiqpr, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.
  20. Didley Squat

    Didley Squat Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2012
    Messages:
    27,461
    Likes Received:
    65,060
    UTR's .................... Please start drinking, heavily!
     
    #60
    kiwiqpr, San Diego and Wooperts_duck like this.

Share This Page