Morning Everyone

You said she as a mentalist, so probably it would work. Generally I find the mumbo-jumbo works on mental, emotional brids the best.

 

Obviously not

 

Muir I think I'm the only one thats done that so far. You go and then I'll find one of another ex

 

Dougie, you old soppy romantic sod, you'll need to lay off the Mills & Boon

 

Shag her & then take the pics.

Then kill the slag so she doesn't bother you anymore ie stalk you, get you sacked etc.

I would then recommend eating her to make sure there is no evidence, take some laxitives to make sure you **** it out your system pretty quickly just incase the feds are on to you & check your insides for any signs of her. Whilst they are doing this her remains have been **** out of you & are half way through the sewerage system

 

**** that, if she doesnt get pissed of enough to leave you marry her

 

The perfect crime.

 

True, some qualities in a woman are priceless and you should hold onto her. Anal sex is near the top of the list after massive tits and big bank account.

 

Ok, but it will be a clothed pic as I'll have to search through Bebo for it. Will have my homework in for tomorrow

 

just don't eat her and then try and flee the country!!!

Cause these new airport scanners will be able to see her inside you

 

Shave the words, "Shave your ****ing minge" into your own pubes then ask her for head.

Before she goes down on you, hold her eyes a few inches from the words and shout something incoherent in her ear. Shout it in Islam.

Then run full force into the wall, kick the door and leave - still completely naked.

 

its break up strategies like that which help me retain my current run of never having to dump a burd. they get so pisses off with me they leave first. also mean no crazy stalkers after the break up.

 

"Allah Akbhar"

 

Severely twist her nipples until they go bright red.

If she asks what you're doing, tell her they don't work and you're trying to fix them.

 

I wonder if any of these birds, given the option, would've preferred you to just dump them, or to be slyly penetrated up the marmite motorway without prior discussion or warning

 

I like it how threads go off topic on here. We always end up talking about rape

 

tell her your gay and fancy her uncle, the only reason you shagged her was to try and get close to him.

 

what kinda of bag did you buy then, Muir?

 

you call it an accident the first few times then after that you say you enjoyed it and want to do it again so she better get used to my sexual deviant nature.

 

See previous posts as to why this isn't an option

And my pubes dont cover my whole ****ing body You need to be skilled with a razor to get that message I could just do it on a post-it note and stick it to my knob