So who's entering and who's the hot favourites in this epic sporting events? The chubby chasers 100m dash. (Winner gets a gobble of dawn french) should be a hot contest. Firm favourites Billy or Gil should take this one. But watch out for the dark horses Welder and Crumble. The save the planet cycling should really be taken by Farnborough, in his hot lycra pants. But watch out for Raw on his raleigh grifter with his ' i love corbyn tee shirt on.
The breast stroke... Comm has put his name down, his other event is the bar crawl. Monty has been disqualified for testing positive for over a hundred banned substances.
The 50m 3 legged chicken run. Outlaw and LA will probably take this. Being Americans they will probably cheat and use a specially adapted A team style skateboard. Monty and Wanderer did not finish this event last time out, due to the 4 hour time limit The pie eating contest. 10 time champ and undefeated Sid is hoping for a better challenge this time out.
The discus - Gordon turned up in a suit for a debate and started out by telling them "You've spelled it wrong, it has two S's".
The 4 X 100m has ground to a halt after Comm used the baton...inappropriately. Obviously missing his Thai friends.
He's been chased around Brazil for racism. He's hiding out in the favelas with Hector who he has promised to pay for keeping him safe. **** still owes me £18,000 I'm gonna let the cat out of the bag!
Grandpops has just arrived on track for the 100m sprint. Unfortunately the games he entered finished in 1974
Billy has been disqualified from all olympic events for having sex with one of the female shot-putters.