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The Rafa Benitez analogy thread...

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Hugh Briss, Apr 10, 2016.

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  1. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    Having watched the latest dismal defeat at St Mary's, it struck me that Rafa Benitez must now be wondering exactly WHY he bothered trying to keep this pile of shiite in the Premier League.

    As he failed to hide his dismay at the comical 'defending' he witnessed, it occured to me that the job he has undertaken could be described in a few alternative terms.

    I will start and then you wise owls can add your own...

    "Rafa Benitez trying to keep Newcastle United in the Premier League, is like asking Lewis Hamilton to win the Formula 1 title whilst driving a Y-reg, 1 litre Fiat Panda"

    Clearly we are headed the same way as Aston Villa so I thought this analogy collection may serve as a mini-distraction.

    Over to you...
     
    #1
    Hugh Briss, Apr 10, 2016
  2. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion
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    Rafa Benitez trying to keep Newcastle United in the Premier League is like asking Captain Chaos to be positive.

    :)
     
    #2
    Rum & Black for 2, Apr 10, 2016
    Hugh Briss and J. J. McClure like this.
  3. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Keeping us in the prem is like asking Chris Hoy to go win a few gold medals on a BMX Ultra Burner.
     
    #3
    Albert's Chip Shop, Apr 10, 2016
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  4. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    Rafa Benitez trying to keep Newcastle United in the Premier League is like asking Rory McIroly to win the Masters with a spatula.
     
    #4
    Last edited: Apr 10, 2016
    Dorty Dogbreath, Apr 10, 2016
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  5. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Like trying to eat a bucket of jelly with chopsticks
     
    #5
    Albert's Chip Shop, Apr 10, 2016
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  6. ClearlyDeludedGloryHunter

    ClearlyDeludedGloryHunter Well-Known Member

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    Rafa Benitez trying to keep Newcastle United in the Premiership is like calling a DJ a musician.
     
    #6
    ClearlyDeludedGloryHunter, Apr 10, 2016
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  7. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Like walking through Pennywell waving a fiver and NOT getting sucked off.
     
    #7
    Albert's Chip Shop, Apr 10, 2016
    Nobby's Trumpet and Hugh Briss like this.
  8. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    By girls or boys? :emoticon-0138-think
     
    #8
    Hugh Briss, Apr 11, 2016
  9. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Depends how close to Giro day it is.
     
    #9
    Albert's Chip Shop, Apr 11, 2016
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  10. Bizarreknives

    Bizarreknives Well-Known Member
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    Rafa Benitez trying to keep Newcastle United in the Premier League is like asking Tash to get his leg over.
     
    #10
    Bizarreknives, Apr 11, 2016

  11. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    it's like Obi walking past a Greggs and NOT doing a supermarket sweep.
     
    #11
    Albert's Chip Shop, Apr 11, 2016
  12. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    It's like ACS wearing normal clothes.
     
    #12
    Albert's Chip Shop, Apr 11, 2016
  13. Blacker-than-Knight

    Blacker-than-Knight Slainte

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    It's like NASA trying to reach orbit using a pogo stick
     
    #13
    Blacker-than-Knight, Apr 11, 2016
    Hugh Briss likes this.
  14. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Asking Rafa Benitez to keep us in the premier league is like asking Usain Bolt to win the 100m in Rio, whilst giving Obi a piggy back
     
    #14
    Warmir Pouchov, Apr 11, 2016
  15. Hugh Briss

    Hugh Briss Well-Known Member

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    I think given his recent form, Steven Taylor can be included as I have a good one.

    "Watching Saylor trying to defend, is like competing in a tug-of-war wearing roller skates"

    :emoticon-0104-surpr
     
    #15
    Hugh Briss, Apr 11, 2016
    Marra SAFC 77 likes this.
  16. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    It's like trying to win Trev's headline game wthout being called Trev.
     
    #16
    Obi Wan, Apr 11, 2016
    Rum & Black for 2 likes this.
  17. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    Like asking Chewbacca to do a full body shave using a spoon.
     
    #17
    Obi Wan, Apr 11, 2016
    J. J. McClure and Hugh Briss like this.
  18. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    Like expecting Albert's wife NOT to invite me over when he's away on business.
     
    #18
    Obi Wan, Apr 11, 2016
    xtal likes this.
  19. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace
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    Like expecting a 100 point bonus from Nev in the prediction league.
     
    #19
    Obi Wan, Apr 11, 2016
  20. Beardsley's Stylist

    Beardsley's Stylist Well-Known Member

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    Rafa trying to teach our defenders to defend is like giving a Rubik's cube to a dog
     
    #20
    Beardsley's Stylist, Apr 13, 2016
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