Starbucks, Costa, Nero etc

Greggs coffee is weak as **** you massive bufty boy.

 

Is it **** Cyril. It's stronger than that Costa coffee pish.

Tell ye wit buy a Costa and then buy a Greggs and see wit wan has more coffee content.

 

I just tend to make my own like a heterosexual

 

Like an unemployed agoraphobic mare like

 

**** off ya ****ing prick!!!!

 

Swaffy Savvy?

 

Drinking in the street Aldo? Never a good look mate, even when it's coffee.

 

Sat so? Why have all those coffee joints got tables and chairs outside them then?

 

"Subway" coffee is only £1 and it's half decent.

 

McDonalds coffee is good and if you sit near the bin you can steal the little stickers from other peoples cups , get 6 and that's a no questions asked free serving.

 

You can also take about 100 packets of sugar.

 

I usually take more napkins than I need but they are no good for wiping your arse.

 

I take straws too, handy for handing out to attractive kids as an icebreaker.

 

They also try to stop people like me stealing BBQ sauce and ketchup by installing massive sauce pumps and teeny paper cups .
I literally lie to their faces that I am going to eat it outside so they put my meal in a bag then demand a dozen BBQ sauces .
Only the Highbury corner branch charges .

 

Great if you have a few guests over snorting cocaine and don't want a rolled up filthy note up your nose with blood and snot on the end.
Simply snip the required length straw with scissors.

 

#toptipz

 

If I have that, plus they happen to have a nice body, and I have engaged them in text coversations for a considerable period of time, then its a given.