Thoughts for today... Corbyn left strangely unsatisfied after ordering sub with no filling from Subway BBC lose rights to broadcast BBC Sports Personality of the Year Andrex puppy treated for soft tissue injuries City in Yorkshire stolen. Police are seeking Leeds
AN AIRPLANE WAS ABOUT TO CRASH; THERE WERE 5 PASSENGERS ON BOARD, BUT ONLY 4 PARACHUTES. THE FIRST PASSENGER, HOLLY MADISON SAID, "I HAVE MY OWN REALITY SHOW AND I AM THE SMARTEST AND PRETTIEST WOMAN AT PLAYBOY, SO AMERICANS DON'T WANT ME TO DIE." SHE TOOK THE FIRST PACK AND JUMPED OUT OF THE PLANE. THE SECOND PASSENGER, JOHN MCCAIN, SAID, "I'M A SENATOR, AND A DECORATED WAR HERO FROM AN ELITE NAVY UNIT FROM THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA." SO HE GRABBED THE SECOND PACK AND JUMPED. THE THIRD PASSENGER, DONALD TRUMP SAID, "I AM GOING TO BE THE NEXT PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, I AM THE SMARTEST MAN IN OUR COUNTRY, AND I WILL MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN" . SO HE GRABBED THE PACK NEXT TO HIM AND JUMPED OUT. THE FOURTH PASSENGER, BILLY GRAHAM, SAID TO THE FIFTH PASSENGER, A 10-YEAR-OLDSCHOOLGIRL, "I HAVE LIVED A FULL LIFE AND SERVED MY GOD THE BEST I COULD. I WILL SACRIFICE MY LIFE AND LET YOU HAVE THE LAST PARACHUTE. " THE LITTLE GIRL SAID, "THAT'S OKAY, MR. GRAHAM. THERE'S A PARACHUTE LEFT FOR YOU. THE SMARTEST MAN IN AMERICA TOOK MY SCHOOLBAG ."
Seems that the reason John Terry is quitting Chelsea is to spend more time with the wife - he just needs to decide whose wife!
A Barry Cryer story, repeated this morning on Radio 4 amused me. One for the aged! The doctor visiting an Old Peoples' Home likes to see how the mental faculties of the residents are holding up. He asks Tom: "Tom what's two plus two?" "Thirty-nine." Unimpressed, the doctor turns to Dick. "Dick, maybe you can tell us. What's two and two?" "Thursday." In desperation the doctor turns to Harry. "Harry, you must be able to work out what two plus two gives us." "Four." "Excellent, Harry. Well done. Perhaps you could show us how you arrived at your answer." "Easy...just took thirty-nine and subtracted Thursday."
Thoughts for the day:- Embalmer who put fake tan on Jim Morrison and Ray Manzarek told to ‘never darken our Doors again’ Terrorists use suicide whales in attack on Western Europe Solar powered drone goes on and on for hours Dyslexic Starbucks employee says tribunal win 'better latte than never'
This is not for the sensitive of easily offended - so apologies if you are, but I thought is was amusing and topical.. Adam Johnson is to join the Chinese Club:- Fuk Em Yeung Sorry, but could not resist it....and no, I do not condone his actions
Pretty distasteful w_y; it has to be said that if such a club had ever existed it would have been populated by senior politicians, senior police, top brass in the military and "well respected members" of the Establishment over the last few decades. Oh and Jimmy Saville would likely have been its President.
