I bought my girlfriend a wooden leg last Christmas. It wasn't her main present, just a stocking filler...
Some more puzzlers: 1.The more of these you take, the more you leave behind. What are they? 2. A barrel of water weighs 20 pounds. What must you add to it to make it weigh 12 pounds? 3. What has a foot on each side and one in the middle? 4. What question can you never answer "yes" to? 5. Give it food and it will live, but give it water and it will die. What is it?
1. Who played for both Britain AND Germany at the last Olympic Games? 2. How many times can you subtract 3 from 39? 3. What can be seen in the middle of March and April that cannot be seen at the end of either? 4. Why do some people dial 000 with their index finger and others with their middle finger? 5. Which word do Welsh people always pronounce hesitantly?
Obviously too easy - so far so good H! Now, about Q4.............. Methinks I'm going to have to check that the answers can't be Googled
A man was staggering home from the pub one night very drunk, when he stumbles over something on the ground. Upon closer inspection he notices it's a lamp. So he picks it up and gives it a rub and out pops a Genie. "I'll grant you one wish" Says the genie. The man was a bit skeptical so he says sarcasticly, "I wish I could piss Jack Daniels" The Genie grants his wish and sure enough, when the man pisses, Jack Daniels comes out. Excited, he races home to his wife and exclaims "I can piss Jack Daniels. Get me a glass, we're having a drink!" "why only one glass?" the wife asks. "That's for me, you can drink it from the bottle!", He replies.
Seems like #4 stumped you - here are some more! 1. Can you guess the next letter in this sequence? CYGTNLIT……… 2. Which month has 29 days in a leap year? 3. A man is playing polo on Good Friday when he falls and breaks his leg. He is taken straight to hospital where he is kept in for just two nights. Yet when he is released, it is Tuesday. How is this possible? 4. Three pupils are asked by their teacher to select four numbers under ten and multiply them together. Even though they didn’t all pick the same numbers, they all got the same answer. How? 5. A boy’s teacher asked him to multiply three and four three times. What is the correct answer?
Eric, a watford fan, was driving down the road when he sees a car parked with the bonnet up. He stops to offer assistance and then realises the driver of the broken down car is David Pleat. Eric takes a deep breath, grits his teeth and tells Pleat that he will drive him to the nearest garage, meanwhile warning Pleat that he is a Watford fan. Pleat is amazed and says, "I never imagined that a Watford fan would give me help. I would have thought that you would want to dance on my grave first" Eric turns to Pleat and replies, "Nah! I hate queuing."
