What's the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you? Something that made you wish like the ground would swallow you whole! About ten years ago I was making love to my girlfriend and after the act she removed the condom and threw it on the floor by the bed. Well without a moments hesitation my Jack Russell 'Nobby' snaffled it down She went off her food shortly afterwards so I took her to the vets to see what was wrong with him. On the way in the little bastard squatted in the ****ting position and hanging out of its arse is the condom That was my earth opening moment Thank God the bubble end came out first or I would have been right up **** creek (no pun intended)
Christ I used to wake up after most benders with a serious dose of 'the horrors'. Remembering stuff I done. Sometimes during the week I would remember something from the weekend and cringe. Nowadays I don't care. I am pretty much unashamable. A blow torch couldn't mark my neck.
Being at a party, getting very drunk, shagging a burd with a half-erection over the side of a bath while a crowd cheered us on. I only know this because my mates told me the following day. Done loads of similar stuff. I got caught on CCTV shagging an Aussie burd on a couch in the youth hostel at Loch Lomond and had the pleasure of watching it the following day when the night guard called me into his office. By chance there was also an American couple going for it on the pool table at the same time so the dirty bastard was switching between the two. I started before the American bloke and finished last
Na, in danger of being called a story copying lying bastard I was framed myself in the pool room of a pub in Ballymena in 1999 during the Championsleague final. Slipped in done the business in 2 minutes slipped back into the bar, went up and ordered drinks and noticed a wee black and white monitor behind the bar. No one said anything so I think I got away with it. Never went back there though.
