Off Topic Goodbye Thread (probably)

So today is moving day. I'm moving out of my office so they can knock it down and into a new office where I will be much more visible (hence a lot less time on here).

I want you all to know I love you like you were my own children and if I had 30 kidneys I'd give you each one. Mailed by FedEx of course.

Should something happen to me on my move, like I drop my office fish tank and the glass splinters and rips my jugular I have prepared my online will and testimony.

To Mito, I leave all my heavy weaponry and automatic machine guns, I know your commandos shall use them well.

To IBWT I leave my slightly used butt plug.

To Wishi, I leave all my creative juices, may they help with your next novel.

Donga, can have all my Americanized spelling auto-corrects.

I have requested that if I die my body be completely shaven and the hairs be donated to Gerrez to make a wig.

As an organ donor I have requested luvgonzo be given my left nut so he can be fertile again and father more children.

Dribbles is receiving my dictionary and thesaurus.

I have set aside money to be used to place RHC in rehab from his Carling problem.

The flesh from my body is left to Nozzer to use for making wurst but not before Garlic bread gets to "converse" with it.

Skylarker shall receive my artificial intelligence robot butler who is trained in mj preparation.

Redladson for you I leave my codpiece may it help you with the ladies.

Tobes, please accept all my Liverpool shirts and paraphernalia and wear them each match day.

Bodanki, I leave you my bus. You will need it now Jose has left.

My headstone I leave to Zingy... I've got two and he needs one.

I am sending my lifetime subscription to "Benteke Hearthrob club" to Jimmy.

Jaffa, rather original idea, can have all my Jaffa cakes.

Mighty Steve can have any other left over biscuits.

My collection of Brendan Rodgers stem cells, placenta and semen I leave to Astro. Go forth and clone him.

All my soap I leave to dirty Klopp.

Bluff doesn't get anything because he's never around anymore.

Solidair, I don't know you well so I'm giving you gassy air.

Organic Red can have my collection of inorganic pesticides.

I have a large roll of tinfoil, heavy duty for making hats. Sisu, I'd like you to have it.

Bow4fowler, someone needs to look after my pet cockroaches when I die.

Hash, I leave you my steroids.

Dr Says, I leave you all my knickers and bras. I know they will look better on you than they did in me.

Suckmyklopp I leave you Fiona.

And finally Johnson's baby shall receive $500million in pennies.




Anyone I forgot... Sorry...hard to remember everyone there are so many people. Go hit JB up. He's got lots of money now.




/ I'm probably not really gone... Just going to be on here less and we haven't had a goodbye thread in months....

 

Sad times....

Have you considered the nuclear option?

 

Poor @saintaKlaus

Edit: and @Enricky.

and @Magic Klopp

 

So you wait to get your secret Santa and then **** off. ****ing typical septic behavior

#purposelymisspeltforeffect

 

Jesus. Why is it goodbye?? Do you not have t'internet at home or do you live in your office?

Thank you for the creative juices, but I need the motivation to get cracking again, haven't written a word since Mum died. In view of your bequest, however, I shall endeavour to get on with it.

 

I've got guns.... yes!

 

#clique

 

It's just like Christmas tbf; I got something I don't bloody want or need!

 

There had better ****ing be some!!

 

Solidair, I don't know you well so I'm giving you gassy air.

Thanks Milk but after Christmas excesses i have more than enough gassy air already thanks

suggest you start behaving like RHC should only take about an hour before you get a very private office





or the sack obviously

 

You'll be back.

You can not resist us you naughty little sailor.....

 

I'd have to get the nut removed again if donated and then I'd have to do a tedious thread and do all the drama again, I dislike your present.

 

Sounds like a great idea to me

 

I wish I did have my own ****ing office

 

O me miserum.

 

All that matters is i am now armed to the teeth..

 

Thanks all and sorry to those missed.

I'm sure I'll be back on weekends and some evenings.

I get my own office but the batards attached my desk to the wall opposite the door so anyone walking down the hall can see what I'm doing.

I do have to sandbag a little bit the first few months or they're going to wonder why I'm suddenly more productive.

 

It's not really goodbye... Just I'll be here a lot less.

It had just been too long since someone posted a goodbye thread.

 

Bad buzz mate, I know what it's like, in 2008 we moved building in Dublin from an old office style building to a modern open plan floor with the directors scowling out of their offices at everyone, where they could also see the lifts.

No mention! Disappointed, I guess I didn't annoy you enough

Get some google glass #sorted