Try speed dating or a dating site QM. Bound to be a horse loving, Hull KR mad, Political savvy, Economist out there for ya.
I have my own form of “speed dating” – they meet me and disappear quite quickly. I did a dating site years ago but they were all liars and did not like meeting somebody honest. As I do not actually come from Hull, I support neither Rugby League team – have friends who support both – so I do not see that as necessarily an obstacle, except that KR fans are usually Socialist East Hull (used to vote for Prescott). In the Labour heartlands of the North of England, economic viability is complete anathema – credit lives, somebody else will pay!
Quiet week coming up, so here's a seasonal diversion. The best answer to the Christmas-cracker Q&A joke below will get a modest donation to the charity of its author's choice (If they don't want to pick one, I'll send it to Make-A-Wish). Q. What Christmas present do you give a punter in hospital with a broken arm ? Tasteless/offensive jokes about German doctors and nurses will probably get extra marks, as will entries which cast doubt on the patient's road-sense.
Morning, Cyc. Right arm, apparently - see Oddy's post in today's DT, full of screaming innuendo about screws and nuts.
Oddy: "My dog's giving me the ****s, he'll chase anything on a bike." Ron: "What are ya' gunna do about it mate?" Oddy: "Confiscate his bike I suppose."
Q. What Christmas present do you give a punter in hospital with a broken arm? A. The merriest Krankenschwester to scratch his balls while he works out how to fondle her with one hand.
Speed dating worked out for me,met herself and clicked,now engaged.Good fun as well,only have five mins to talk ****e then onto the next,a few bevs are needed beforehand for some dutch courage!!
I am glad it worked for someone. Perhaps I should give it a go - I cannot do any worse! Seb Coe missed a trick before the 2012 London Olympics. He should have sent me to the start of the women's 1500 metres to chat up the British bird - she would have run a mile so quick it would have been a guaranteed gold.
From the Mock The Week Christmas Special the other night, a couple of crackers: “Lovely to have venison for a change. Santa, how are you getting home?” (Milton Jones) “Vorderman, Smiley, McGiffin? No, this isn’t what I meant by ‘what carols do you want to do?’”
Enjoy the rest of the holiday, everyone, and a happy New Year. QuarterMoonII wins the cracker prize. Let me know if you have a favourite charity, QM, and I'll see them right; it would help if they have an online giving facility. ****************************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Boxing Night, German hospital ward. SwanHills is visiting Odddog. Oddy: that nurse with the big boobs was telling me that Lizzie Kelly won the Grade 1 3-miler at Kempton. You know, the, um.... Swan: Feltham ? Oddy: Nah, this arm's in plaster and I couldn't reach her with the other hand. Drum roll. Exit Swan, shaking his head.
Yes, you're honoured Rainer. Even my wife laughed at that (she doesn't usually laugh at the jokes I read out from here).
Jeeezus, Rainer, when the swan's away the ducks will play................ Ron: Mine too, plus friend's missus after I explained who the hell SwanHills and OddDog were.
I thought that Bonfire Night was when we burned things in November to celebrate the last Guy to go into Parliament with a good idea. Clearly they have other ideas out in the desert... When this hi-rise pyrotechnics was breaking news, the Dubai authorities claimed they had it under control. Did they think that Steve McQueen and Paul Newman were on the job? please log in to view this image
