But that's my point, a UK "nuclear deterrent" is about as much use as a chocolate fireguard - the threat changed about 30 years ago so why persist with this expensive white elephant?
Oddy, you accused me of not being topical, so I replied with a link to a news story on the BBC News website today. I could not care less whether folks are for or against Nuclear Weapons or the colour of their elephants; however, it is being discussed in Parliament in 2015, so I would describe that as topical.
I'm sure there are many topics being discussed in Parliament 2015 which don't warrant a mention, but the "ooh that naughty lefty man leading the Labor Party wants to get rid of our independent nuclear deterrent which has kept this state sovereign for the last 1200 years" just happens to be the one you thought worthy of posting on Today trident, tomorrow the Commonwealth and on Tuesday British rule in India.
I remember someone once saying at the height of the cold war, that as each side raced to out do each other, it was like two men with boxes of matches, locked in a shed full of flammable liquid. The guy with fifty matches professed to be safer than the bloke with 49.
Labour have ducked the Trident question at the Conference, so on the Daily Politics they ran an unscientific survey with plastic balls – offering delegates to chance to put one in the box for “scrap” or “renew”. The vote was pretty even (a few big name MPs declined to participate) but when their man only had one ball left and gave it to Len McCluskey, the militant put the ball in his pocket and walked away! Does me play ping pong? License payers’ money paid for that ball, Len!
The thread is named "lighten up" it's got a bit serious. 2 birds sitting on a perch, one says to the other, " can you smell fish"
Walking past our fridge I thought I could hear onions singing so I opened the door. It was chives talking think about it
Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence." Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf." Q: What should you do if you come across an elephant? A: Apologize and wipe it off.
Working in a mirror factory is something I can definitely see myself doing. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?... ...He wanted to win the No-bell prize! A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The Eurosceptics in the Conservative Party have asked Nigel Lawson to run their campaign to get out of Europe because their first choice, Arsene Wenger, will finish too soon. Nigel has already recruited daughter Nigella to bake red, white and blue cakes and bribe voters with her feminine charms. ---------- On the 1st October 2015, it became illegal to smoke in a car carrying under eighteens; however, if you are driving a VW, it is okay because the cigarettes put out no emissions.
Boris Johnson: “I know these people, some of them are out there today. I know them. They are the London Labour party. Trots and militants with vested interests and indeed interesting vests. They are the people who idolise Hugo Chavez and toast the revolution in taxpayer funded vintage burgundy.” What a shame that we will not have Boris v Jezza 2020 – the Battle of the Buffoons.
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, ‘Jesus knows you’re here.’ He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard a voice....say, ‘Jesus is watching you.’ Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. ‘Did you say that?’ he hissed at the parrot. ‘Yep’, the parrot confessed, then squawked, ‘I’m just trying to warn you that he is watching you.’ The burglar relaxed. ‘Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?’ ‘I'm Moses.’ replied the bird. ‘Moses?’ the burglar laughed. ‘What kind of people would name a bird Moses?’ ‘The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus.’ please log in to view this image
Hugh Hefner has announced that Playboy magazine will no longer contain photos of nude women, causing consternation amongst the male teenage generation whose current collections have pages stuck together. However, Apple have announced the release of their two new products, which can be hidden easily under mattresses: iPussy and iNipple.
The House of Lords voted down the government’s Tax Credit changes because the EU has decided that tampons are a luxury item so poor women need the money to pay the VAT on them. They could just use Jaffa Cakes instead because they are VAT exempt and they could use them to feed the kids...
Got a Chinese take out last night and as I got in the car I heard the bag rustle, so I looked over and saw a pair of eyes looking out the top of the bag at me, then dissappear back inside. I was so scared I nearly **** myself, I looked again, saw the eyes looking at me then dissappear again, I ran back into the shop with this bag and asked the Chinese guy what the **** was going on, he said "you no worry, it Peking duck"
Tony Blair tried to be a stand-up comedian and he was ‘really dire’ (advert warning on this site – close it to see page!) We saw his comedy act from 1994, first as Labour leader then as Prime Minister but he has been charging a lot more to see it since 2007. The one-eyed guy following was no funnier... How long until Chilcot wipes the smile off his smug face?
After every flight, Qantas Airlines pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some supposedly actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution as recorded by Qantas maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.
My wife came home from work to find me watching football "I've decided to leave you, all you do is talk about football you think about nothing else" she said and I'm seeing someone else" " really"? I said " what team does he support"
