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Off Topic The offical: Jokes THREAD

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Garlic Klopp, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    A ****?
     
    #641
    In MILK we trust likes this.
  2. How the **** do you know I've got a beard at the moment? #stalker
     
    #642
    In MILK we trust likes this.
  3. You grew a beard?
     
    #643
  4. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Nah. Don't like the ****ing things. As my Mum used to say, "People with beards can't be trusted. they have something to hide". <whistle>
     
    #644
  5. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    I like the look and convenience of a short beard but the Mrs. doesn't like the scratchiness.
     
    #645
  6. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Sorted <ok> <laugh>
     
    #646

  7. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    I do let my facial hair grow one week out of every month...

    <laugh><cheers><badger>
     
    #647
  8. Yeah, their razor from the mrs (nm)
     
    #648
  9. Garlic Klopp

    Garlic Klopp Well-Known Member

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    Some women like a man with a beard. Whatever tickles your fancy!
     
    #649
  10. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Fixed.
     
    #650
  11. LuisDiazgamechanger

    LuisDiazgamechanger Dribbles

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    please log in to view this image

    please log in to view this image
     
    #651
  12. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Those bloody things cause more accidents than they do save lives.

    See a yellow school bus and everyone drives like an idiot trying to get ahead of it before it stops. Once it stops you're stuck. You can't move until it moves and the driver won't move until the kid(s) is in his seat. That and they will stop at one house... Then drive 50ft to the next house with a child instead of getting the kids to all get on at one spot in between.
     
    #652
  13. So what you're saying is, other drivers are arseholes that can't wait?
     
    #653
  14. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Of course. They're septics <ok>
     
    #654
  15. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Pretty much. I leave for work too early for them now... But when I left later I would occasionally get stuck behind one. Would add at least 10 minutes to my hour long commute... And I'd only be behind it for 2 miles.


    I feel sorry for kids on them. They have to get up super early and sit on the bus for over an hour to go to a school that might not be more than a couple miles away.

    It's not like Britain with bus stops. They stop at every bloody house with a kid separately... And that can't drive off once the kid is on board. They're not allowed to move until the kid is seated.
     
    #655
  16. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Why?
     
    #656
  17. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Why does it make me late- or why do they stop every house?

    Why make people late is because it's illegal to pass or go around a stopped school bus. So on many roads where there is no or limited overtaking once you're behind one you're behind it until it turns.


    Or why do they stop every house instead of at bus stops (i think this is city by city... Some cities have bus stops).

    Streets don't have sidewalks or poorly maintained sidewalks. (My neighbourhood has them but at almost 45 degree angle so you can't walk on them... Everyone uses road to walk... When they walk).

    Therefore they consider it not safe for kids to walk to bus stops so buses come to them.


    The trick in residential areas is don't be on the roads between 7am and 9am or 3pm to 4pm.
     
    #657
  18. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    FFS <doh> That's really encouraging people to walk to get some exercise.
     
    #658
  19. You do realise we're talking about yanks right? <laugh>
     
    #659
  20. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Exactly.
     
    #660

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