Off Topic Fireworks

At home in Newcastle, 4.30pm, and the fireworks have started.

Anyone doing anything tonight? We are having a display for friends and family on Sunday

 

We are doing a grand display of burning all the world's mustard chinos on a massive bonfire.

It has to be massive because Albert will be wearing his.

 

Meanwhile, some lout has shot a banger up my cat's arse and fired my moggy through the letterbox.

I thought this type of thing only happened years ago? <puzzled>

 

I imagine the hospitals on Wearside will be on standby tonight just incase someone tries this again...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/6132140.stm

 

If that was Albert then I wouldn't exactly call it a 'banger'

 

I was only joking

 

"Paramedics found the 22-year-old bleeding, with a Black Cat Thunderbolt Rocket lodged inside him, when they attended the scene in Sunderland."



They love their irony!!!!

 

"Mr McDougal added: "And also the body naturally produces methane gas, so combine that with the firework and the exploding effect with methane's flammability - it certainly could have been a lot worse than it really was." "



It gets better!!!

 

please log in to view this image

 

"Northumbria Police said they were aware of the incident, which happened in the Dame Dorothy Street area of Monkwearmouth, but are understood not to be carrying out further inquiries"

Typical, so they're not looking into it eh!

 

Used to like the smell of bonfire night and kids coming around with penny for the guy, however it's sadly playing second fiddle to the Americanised Halloween crap these days.

Seriously kids sweets or explosives?

 

Just catching up.
So.. Are the Mackems shoving fireworks up their arseholes now?
They should have words with Bri.
Butt plugs don't explode and wreck ring pirces.




Apparently.

 

Tonight i'm in Winchester, then tomorrow Portsmouth and then Saturday Bournemouth for the game.
Should be home from the match about 10pm.
Have soundproofing so won't get to hear **** going bang.
But having a curry in a few mins...

 

Sofa all week for me sadly

Illness to behold

 

You been forgetting muesli?

 

I didn't eat anything until today and then uh oh a massive twizzle sweets collection and a pizza.

**** it ive list a week of my training plan.

 

If you're having curry then we'll all need soundproofing so we don't hear **** going bang.

 

Beds are for the ill, sofa for the man flu, hot curry bum, burnt me mouth on the pizza and fat splashes from the frying pan or multiple episodes of your favourite tv series while moaning theatrically down the phone to work.