Good day, old bean. I have a minor complaint to direct to you about a purchase I made in 2008. I bought the book 'From Boothferry to Wembley', it arrived in pristine condition on time and was an interesting read. However, I have noticed lately that the black ink printed on the spine is beginning to fade, despite it not being in direct sunlight. It has been bordered between Robert Bolano's 2666 and Karl Marlantes' Matterhorn for roughly the same period of time and neither of these are suffering from fading spines, so this has led me to believe that I received a faulty book. Could I return this book to you and a new one be sent out, with a personal guarantee that the ink on the spine will NOT fade before even a decade of ownership has passed. Regards, ESSEX GULL
Dear Sir, Sorry to hear about your complaint which is an unusual one. From the thousands of copies of 'From Boothferry to Wembley' sold yours, unfortunately, is the only one with a fading spine. However if you read the disclaimer on the inside back cover it clearly states that reading said book on an outside toilet with ones trousers around ones ankles for longer then an hour ( or until one's bum gets numb) whichever is the sooner, may, attract distemper, and, in isolated cases the bad air circulation may have a reaction with the ink, which is of a very rare expensive sort, only used on a hand operated printing press in a converted pigeon loft, down a tenfoot, behind a terrace, in the back yard of a shamfour down Arygle Street, Hull. ( The building has since been demolished) Also the disclaimer only last's until you get the book home from the book shop, or in your case, probably the charity shop. And even if I could be arsed to replace the book it would prove impossible because none are available anywhere, every copy sold out, although rare second hand ones sometimes change hands for all sorts of favours, even hard cash in some cases, at the crack of dawn, around the duck pond of a public park in West Hull. Erm......and I might add if you obtained your copy under those circumstances the disclaimer becomes even more void, if that is possible. Sorry and all that, Tubbylard, Bahama's Tax Haven, Miles away.
A thoroughly despicable response and one reason, highlighted to this forum, which will explain why internet-based retail will never take off. If I knew I was purchasing a book printed on paper with a lower half-life than wet toilet paper, I would have asked you to send me a digital copy and printed it out at work. If anyone on this forum wishes to receive a digital copy, for Kindle or Blackberry Playbook, I have personally transcribed the book to digital format and am happy to email it out for a small sum. For copyright reasons, the photos have been reenacted using Transformers and Star Wars figures... with a photograph of a rumble in Rochdale where the Rochdale mob are ewoks. PM for payment details ESSEX GULL
It would not surprise me in the slightest, old bean. For readers wanting a book, that documents the history of Hull City from a fans perspective, whose spine is resistant to light and will not fade after 8 years, I can personally recommend Shaun Tordoff's City Psychos - on the shelf for a decade now and the blood splatter on the spine is as red as the day I purchased it. ESSEX GULL
I too recommend the Psycho's book, having written the early days stuff for young Shaun from the goodness of my heart. I'm like that, me.
That sounds better than the original. I don't care much for the book but how much for the pictures? Signed of course.
