1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic An Americans view of England

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by durbar2003, Oct 7, 2015.

  1. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    I was in England again a few weeks ago, mostly in small towns, but here's some of what I noticed:
    * Almost everyone is very polite
    * The food is generally outstanding
    * There are no guns
    * There are too many narrow stairs
    * Everything is just a little bit different
    * The pubs close too early
    * The reason they drive on the left is because all their cars are built backwards
    * Pubs are not bars, they are community living rooms.
    * You'd better like peas, potatoes and sausage
    * Refrigerators and washing machines are very small
    * Everything is generally older, smaller and shorter
    * People don't seem to be afraid of their neighbors or the government
    * Their paper money makes sense, the coins don't
    * Everyone has a washing machine but driers are rare
    * Hot and cold water faucets. Remember them?
    * Pants are called "trousers", underwear are "pants" and sweaters are "jumpers"
    * The bathroom light is a string hanging from the ceiling
    * "Fanny" is a naughty word, as is "shag"
    * All the signs are well designed with beautiful typography and written in full sentences with proper grammar.
    * There's no dress code
    * Doors close by themselves, but they don't always open
    * They eat with their forks upside down
    * The English are as crazy about their gardens as Americans are about cars
    * They don't seem to use facecloths or napkins or maybe they’re just less messy than we are
    * The wall outlets all have switches, some don't do anything
    * There are hardly any cops or police cars
    * 5,000 year ago, someone arranged a lot of rocks all over, but no one is sure why
    * When you do see police they seem to be in male & female pairs and often smiling
    * Black people are just people: they didn't quite do slavery here
    * Everything comes with chips, which are French Fries. You put vinegar on them
    * Cookies are "biscuits" and potato chips are "crisps"
    * HP sauce is better then catsup
    * Obama is considered a hero, Bush is considered an idiot.
    * After fish and chips, curry is the most popular food
    * The water controls in showers need detailed instructions
    * They will boil anything
    * Folks don't always lock their bikes
    * It's not unusual to see people dressed different and speaking different languages
    * Your electronic devices will work fine with just a plug adapter
    * Nearly everyone is better educated then we are
    * If someone buys you a drink you must do the same
    * There are no guns
    * Look right, walk left. Again; look right, walk left. You're welcome.
    * Avoid British wine and French beer
    * It's not that hard to eat with the fork in your left hand with a little practice. If you don't, everyone knows you're an American
    * Many of the roads are the size of our sidewalks
    * There's no AC
    * Instead of turning the heat up, you put on a jumper
    * Gas is "petrol", it costs about $6 a gallon and is sold by the liter
    * If you speed on a motorway, you get a ticket. Period. Always
    * You don't have to tip, really!
    * Scotland, Wales, Ireland and Cornwall really are different countries
    * Only 14% of Americans have a passport, almost everyone in the UK does
    * You pay the price marked on products because the taxes (VAT) are built in
    * Walking is the national pastime
    * Their TV looks and sounds much better then ours
    * They took the street signs down during WWII, but haven't put them all back up yet
    * Everyone enjoys a good joke
    * There are no guns
    * Dogs are very well behaved and welcome everywhere
    * There are no window screens
    * You can get on a bus and end up in Paris
    * Everyone knows more about our history then we do
    * Radio is still a big deal. The BBC is quite good
    * The newspapers can be awful
    * Everything costs the same but our money is worth less so you have to add 50% to the price to figure what you're paying
    * Beer comes in large, completely filled, actual pint glasses and the closer the brewery the better the beer
    * Butter and eggs aren't refrigerated
    * The beer isn't warm, each style is served at the proper temperature
    * Cider (alcoholic) is quite good.
    * Excess cider consumption can be very painful.
    * The universal greeting is "Cheers" (pronounced "cheeahz" unless you are from Cornwall, in which case it's "chairz")
    * The money is easy to understand: 1-2-5-10-20-50 pence, £1-£2 coins and £5-£10, etc bills. There are no quarters.
    * Their cash makes ours look like Monopoly money
    * Cars don't have bumper stickers
    * Many doorknobs, buildings and tools are older than America
    * By law, there are no crappy, old cars
    * When the sign says something was built in 456, they didn't lose the "1"
    * Cake is is pudding, ice cream is pudding, anything served for desert is pudding, even pudding
    * BBC 4 is NPR
    * Everything closes by 1800 (6pm)
    * Very few people smoke, those who do often roll their own
    * You're defined by your accent
    * No one in Cornwall knows what the hell a Cornish Game Hen is
    * Football is a religion, religion is a sport
    * Europeans dress better then the British, we dress worse
    * The trains work: a three minute delay is regrettable
    * Drinks don't come with ice
    * There are far fewer fat English people
    * There are a lot of healthy old folks around participating in life instead of hiding at home watching tv
    * If you're over 60, you get free tv and bus and rail passes.
    * They don't use Bose anything anywhere
    * Displaying your political or religious affiliation is considered very bad taste
    * Every pub seems to have a pet drunk
    * Their healthcare works, but they still bitch about it
    * Cake is one of the major food groups
    * Their coffee is mediocre but the tea is wonderful
    * There are still no guns
    * Towel warmers!
    * Cheers
     
    #1
  2. TWGWTDT

    TWGWTDT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2014
    Messages:
    2,086
    Likes Received:
    1,046
    Give it time
     
    #2
  3. TWGWTDT

    TWGWTDT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2014
    Messages:
    2,086
    Likes Received:
    1,046
    A fairer reflection IMO

     
    #3
    UTRs and Wherever like this.
  4. Rangers Til I Die

    Rangers Til I Die Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2011
    Messages:
    11,889
    Likes Received:
    6,288
    Just shows you should never have left the Empire!
     
    #4
  5. GoldhawkRoad

    GoldhawkRoad Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2011
    Messages:
    9,739
    Likes Received:
    3,387
    If you're in the US doing some pencil sketches of buildings and you make a mistake, don't ask the nearest female student for a rubber...

    If you're at the bar and get chatting to the barman, don't ask him if he fancies a ***...
     
    #5
    QPR Oslo likes this.
  6. Wherever

    Wherever Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2012
    Messages:
    30,750
    Likes Received:
    97,983
    Don't smoke a *** in Texas
     
    #6
  7. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    Don't smoke a *** in Texas, at least with a gun. You'll get the death penalty.
     
    #7
  8. QPR Oslo

    QPR Oslo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2011
    Messages:
    21,724
    Likes Received:
    6,795
    Ha! Nothing changes. I spent 2 and a half years "over there" over 40 years ago and when I got back I could have written the same. And when we first arrived in New York we made about the same mistakes Goldhawk!
     
    #8
  9. CORKeR

    CORKeR Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2011
    Messages:
    1,210
    Likes Received:
    149
    Excellent post, or should I say, awesome mail?
     
    #9
  10. silkship

    silkship Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,435
    Likes Received:
    131

  11. QPR999

    QPR999 Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2011
    Messages:
    22,022
    Likes Received:
    19,665
    #11
  12. Kilburn

    Kilburn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2011
    Messages:
    16,578
    Likes Received:
    11,230
    Perhaps durbar is Scott Waters?
     
    #12
    Last edited: Oct 8, 2015
  13. TWGWTDT

    TWGWTDT Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2014
    Messages:
    2,086
    Likes Received:
    1,046
    I think both the US and the UK are both delusional nightmares and all humans born into both of them owe the rest of the world at least the daily thought to think how lucky we are to be born into them.

    The hidden agenda of both powers is to rule using fear and bullshit while attempting to control the rest of the world

    After a long spell away from the news I see that the PM has slated the new Labour bloke for saying that Bin Laden was a tragdery. perfect example there of pulling the public inline with its own bullshit

    Coming through the Tunnel at Calais Sunday I was expecting a swarm as I read weeks ago ... world war Z in my mind . I expected all the villages around Calais to be wastelands

    The facts are they were nothing of the sort and the whole process was nothing ... a small bit of sea and what a difference.... Soaked in greed
     
    #13
  14. Woodyhoopleson

    Woodyhoopleson Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2011
    Messages:
    3,808
    Likes Received:
    2,528
    Shall we drag up the conspiracy thread?
     
    #14
  15. TimPR78

    TimPR78 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2015
    Messages:
    661
    Likes Received:
    306
    A fun read thanks for lightening up my day
     
    #15
  16. QPR999

    QPR999 Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2011
    Messages:
    22,022
    Likes Received:
    19,665
    He well maybe mate, but I doubt it somehow. This article has hit the mainstream press in the UK today. Oh well at least durbar has offered a diversion to all things QPR despite passing them off as his own. But don't we all do that in one way or another? Maybe we garner a few snippets here and there and try to collate them into our own summations.
     
    #16
  17. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    Guys I never said it was my own, it says an "Americans view". not a "British view"
     
    #17
  18. Kilburn

    Kilburn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2011
    Messages:
    16,578
    Likes Received:
    11,230
    Not a bad idea to also post the link to an article when quoting from it, since this credits the author.
     
    #18
    QPR999 likes this.
  19. durbar2003

    durbar2003 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 2, 2013
    Messages:
    4,828
    Likes Received:
    2,394
    Copied it from facebook that was posted by someone else.
     
    #19
  20. QPR Oslo

    QPR Oslo Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2011
    Messages:
    21,724
    Likes Received:
    6,795
    It was a good read whatever mate.
     
    #20
    durbar2003 likes this.

Share This Page