How To Be A Successful WUM?

... that would be Paul Weller ..

 

By their very nature, most wums will come back and bite you on the arse one day. You can mitigate the pain by at least being witty and original - not just the usual idiotic, predictable jibes that most of those who fancy themselves as a Wum come out with.

 

This is the problem, the standard has dropped with just those few stealth wums who are any good. We need to be challenged, we need better wums!

Maybe we could hire some from other forums?

I'm a member of a clown forum I could see if any of them are up to the task.

 

... the Liverpool board?

 

No a real clown forum, I can see what you did there though.

 

Well, you did start a thread about Wummng!

 

Indeed and Fosse would be a suspect stealth wum, watch him he could be dangerous.

 

Liverpool this year is our year you'll never walk alone since 1992.

 

This is more fact than wummery.

 

Judging by what's happened so far on this board, I'd suggest that we all point and laugh at whoever's gone over the edge.
That seems to be the general idea on here, doesn't it?

 

Wakka and Lettuce (although highly likely the same person) were very dedicated to wummery. Quite easy to bat away though to be fair.

The best we get these days is 2 gaydos from North London talking about masturbating Monkeys.

Wumming is a dying art. A fable to tell our Grandchildren. Similar to the 'Spitman' myth currently being passed down.

 

I think that pointing and laughing is a good start we don't want to get complex just yet.

 

My children! I see that you are all trying to grasp at that which cannot be touched! Can anyone define the genuis of the true Wum Master? Is it not like trying to embrace the wind? You may tell your brother that the sky is blue, but of what use to him are your words if he is blind and has never seen colours?

When I was a child (two and a half years old, I think), I was called into the Temple by my Wum Master, and he told me a tale.

"Young Wumster," he said, stroking his long white beard, "a black cat who walks on a black road in the middle of a moonless night does not know that it cannot be seen, any more than does the white cat with a flare shoved up its arse!" In that moment, I came to know my destiny. I snathed the pebble from his hand and was ready to leave the temple (and to refrain from having to wear a nappy at night).

The subtle wum is like the bending of the grass. Be that blade of grass!

Above all, do not get "owned." Yes, there are men who will laugh at you (sometimes, they will laugh at you a lot), but most of those who laugh at you also laughed at Jim Davidson when he was plying his overtly racist brand of humour on TV, in the drab 70s. To be laughed at by idiots does not make you a fool.

Go in peace, my children!

 

****ing hell

 

Waits patiently.

 

Patience is bitter, young Luvvy, but its fruit is sweet.

 

Your poetic crap doesn't work on me fella. Your wumming is impressive HAIG many get sucked in but you are not a master yet.

 

... see HIAG had a most unfortunate experience in Santa's grotto .... explains a lot tbf ...

 

A true WUM does not advocate WUMmery on their articles.

But no mere football forum WUM wannabee can ever match one who
actually manages a football team.

I know of one such WUM in the Highbury locale who can make tens of
thousands meltdown for at least 15 minutes after his antics.

 

Stealth wum.