How To Be A Successful WUM?

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The standard of wumming on not606 has been in decline since the disappearance of Wakka in 2012.

Each day potential wum masters approach boards in the hope that today will be the day that they own someone, that they get that big bite only for them to be left in a dejected state when they realise that nobody cares what they have to say. The wum is crestfallen and slopes back off to their mother board for some much needed sympathy.

There are those who just throw nonsense around, they are not wums they are just the stupid looking for a moment of gratification.

The following is for your consideration, please read carefully and consider your responses as there are people watching who will not be happy at this expose.

Direct Wumming is an art that only the very dedicated wums get much joy from, blatantly throwing abuse can be effective, CFC does well with this medium and has regular bites but also leaves himself cruely exposed when things go wrong at his club, the current nonsense coming out of Jose Mourinhos mouth is meaning that revenge is being sought by many and there's no defence.

Nasty Wums will say anything and create carnage on a board but inevitably will be banned, another account will appear but it's a losing battle and the poster is doomed to JA606.

Occasional Wums, the fun loving type of wum who only pops up now and then to have a laugh but it's a road frought with danger, they turn up on the board just to have a bit of banter but because they are not a regular poster there's an angry response and it's time to get out quickly.

So with all the pitfalls of wumming to overcome what can be done? How can this dying art be brought back to it's full glory?

Stealth Wum the only true art of wumming, the stealth wum is your friend, he makes you laugh and posts valid points about your team that seem reasonable and well thought out. Now and then there's a little barb at a player but he's just testing the water, checking the resposes until he knows the time is right.
I've never seen a stealth wum you may cry but they are there amoungst us happily posting away, taking you in with their calm nature and fun attitude waiting for that moment to strike when they know you have no answer, know you cannot repond. They then disappear into the night until all is forgotten waiting to return so that they can gain your trust all over again.

Beware my friends they are born into this and there's no escape.

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Math is the King, never seen a poster collectively wind up fans from every forum as easily as he does.

 

But he does it unintentionally, he's just being himself

Stan 5 was a wum Jedi on the old 606.

One of the best in the history of wummage

 

But he's a direct wum and stupid with it, yes effective at times but he also gets shot down a lot and is in tears crying about everyone being a bully and him by autistic.
An effective wum at times yes but not one of the best.

 

I'm not so sure Tobes I love to think he was sent by the wum gods to terrorise football forums.

 

The best way to get a bite is just to ridicule the spuds, then just sit back and wait for HIAG, NSIS and PNP to come swimming along.

Every single time. 100%. WITHOUT FAIL.

 

Boderline nasty wum is what I have you labelled as, venture onto the Spuds board and a ban would be not long away I suspect which limits you as a wum my friend.

 

There's no need. The daft twonks frequent the Premier League Board regularly enough without me having to associate myself with all the rest of the oddballs on their board.

 

What do I win?

 

Anyone remember Ensil? He definitely fell under the 2nd category, and what a monumental c*nt he was.

 

You come under the stupid bit.

 

I remember him, nasty individual.

 

I don't think that Math counts, unless there's an Accidental WUM category.

Nasty WUMs tend to fall prey to their own windups, in my experience.
They either lose it completely or just end up looking spiteful or petty, pulling the Keyboard Warrior stance quite a lot.

 

... the real secret to being a 'successful' WUM is to be impervious to the reality that you're not ... like HIAG

 

Alternatively, you can just wait for some half wit Spamner to post something, leaving himself open, and then stick the barb in.

 

to be a wum master one must learn the senses, and the senses are not brought about easily, they must be gained through becoming one with nature, and then the senses can be freed, and once freed, they can be learned, and once learned, one begins the path of becoming a wum master. A wise man once said the path is hard to find, and hard to walk, and in fact may be impossible, while others, notably from the north, have disputed this wise man's claim and said that one can walk the path, and that they will never walk alone should they do so, but this is all conjecture and has been much debated, but one thing that all agree on is that the senses of wummery can only be gained when one becomes intwined with nature, for nature is us, and we are nature, together as one body, one entity, breathing in, breathing out. The air we breathe is given by nature, and the air we breathe out, is grasped by nature, thus the interconnection is revealed, and the body becomes whole, and once whole, one becomes the master.

 

Wow! Far out, dude!...

 

I sense wumming on the wum thread, could be interesting. The lack of a mod on this section of the site is also interesting if wumming goes to far, what happens?

 

And who mods the one who mods? Who moderates the moderator? Are we prisoners to our own abyss?

 

.. the end of the WUM as we know it:

Nostrildanus