Off Topic Satan ****s of hell

I've read about those bastards...even if you cut away the necrotic tissue its in the nervous system so the new fresh wound goes necrotic too! If that happens only experimental and very painful electric shocks at the site seem to keep it at bay

 

The recluse do leave a nasty bite that turns into a big hole.

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They are like their name though and like places where they are not disturbed so it is unlikely that you'd find one hanging around the house in a well used area or in your bed.

 

I've lived here 20 years and only ever met two people who claim to have been bitten by Brown recluses (neither was though, neither had more than a red bump). I read once that it is estimated 90-something% of all accused Brown recluse bites are false and the real perpetrator was a non-venemous spider.


People get bit by a mosquito, see a brown spider and rush to A&E screaming "OMG, I was bit by a brown recluse, now my leg is going to fall off"



Real bites are nasty. I'd never want to be but by one of them suckers... Widows don't scare me, Brown recluses are nasty... In part because they're hard to identify they look just like a common brown house spider.

 

I'd want a 6ft moat around my house and a ****ing net canopy over the top of it, if I lived over there.

 

Most venemous snakes here live around water. Cottonmouths would love your moat. So would the mosquitos that carry west Nile virus.

 

did he mention the moat was full of acid...?

 

I'd chlorinate it

 

Honestly as many venemous buggers as we have (and its hardly any compared with Australia). I really don't know anyone personally who has ever had a serious problem with any venemous animal (besides the security guard I told you about who kept picking up rattlesnakes).

I got west nile (suspected, not confirmed) and it was pretty bad, but living in a less densly populated area I probably get the flu less than if I were at home. (once in 20 years).

The worst thing is the fire ants. We have 6 or 7cm tall mounds of sand all over our lawn where the fire ants build nests. They're red ants slightly more painful than the common kind in England but a lot less hesitant to sting.

All three of my kids have an allergic reaction to them that makes them swell up and get cellulitis. Stupid kids keep playing with the ants and getting bit.

100 miles away my parents have a different any, "needle ant" that keeps biting my mum. She's allergic and has same reaction. Reaction must be genetic. Thankfully I don't get a reaction to bites.

Oh, and I get to kayak with 12ft Alligators too.

 

Suarez hasn't bitten you yet...

 

That was one venemous animal you had back home that I never got over here.

 

You can all carry shooters though mate, so it's all good

 

I'm allergic to midge bites. Unfortunately I also give off that pheromone that makes them have an orgy on me.

If I go camping or hiking in the Mournes without deeting up to the max I come back looking like I've got chicken pox for a week.

Remember going up there with a girlfriend for a weekend of climbing and .....Well.. and in our tent passion had left the netting open on a night when they were in the air so thick they were like a cloud. I got bit head to toe including about ten bites round my bollox...

I looked like a pervert scratching myself for a week. Nearly drove me mad lol...

 

I'm eating my ****ing lunch, you ****

 

Sadly, more likely to get shot than bit or stung by a dangerous animal.

 

Happy to be of service.

 

The Giant Purple-Spotted Acidophilus Spider swims in that.

 

Even if not. Probably get cancer breathing in all the acid fumes.

 

An ex of mine had a severe allergy to midges and would come up in lumps. She'd have to run indoors whenever they came out to play and leave me to finish off/ tidy up/ whatever outside in a swarm of the little buggers.
They bite me, and it's annoying, but I don't have a reaction to them.
Apart from randomly slapping myself and yelling "**** off you little bastards".

 

Who-the spider?

 

Great excuse to get out of doing the gardening too