Off Topic Satan ****s of hell

I'd love that. Then again, I couldn't take living in Oz where the bastards are as big as Shrek's fist. And they have that ****er that hides in the toilet rim, then bites your bollocks when you're on the throne. Probably thinks it's being attacked by a snake and two elephant shrews, in my case.

 

More like a maggot and two chickpeas

 

I remember Steve Backshall did one of them 'Deadly 60' programmes from Madagascar. They were in this hut and found this ugly-bastard, arachnid spider-scorpion cross (can't remember its name) and even he and his crew were acting like terrified women standing on tables when a mouse runs past. Apparently there's no antidote to its bite, and though it doesn't kill you victims often kill themselves with the pain. Sweet.

 

Really? I'm the opposite. When I was younger I had very strict parameters to what I considered attractive.
Now, as long as they're the same species as me I'm happy.

 

Tell that to a male Black Widow.

 

Gender doesn't play a part then?

 

Very good.
I just assumed we were referring to females exclusively.

 

Stop trying to turn him, you predator.

 

Debatable.

 

I read that as windows and thought why the **** has he got windows in his crawlspace and under his deck? The second sentence confused me even more.

 

They were real windows, though- not the faux variety. That would just be silly.

 

poor assumption when talking to Biscan

 

You're not Welsh then?

 

please log in to view this image

 

I was sent here to bring an element of sophistication and enlightenment to the great unwashed.
A sort of missionary position.

 

That was aimed specifically at you. Thanks for not disappointing

 

Yes. I currently reside in South Carolina. Widow family spiders are very common here. Rarely indoors but very frequently in outdoor covered spaces like garages, sheds etc. Everyone has them in their garage here. Although one of the most venemous spiders here it's actually really hard to get but by one.

Widows have a difficult time biting humans in the first place, and it really is a last line of defense for them. We get the black widows, false Widows, Brown widows etc .

Wouldn't pick one up but they're not something to worry about.

 

Pavlov's ****ing dog

 

Brown recluse (fiddleback) spiders are worse. They won't kill you but where they bite you the flesh rots away.

Unlike widows they love being completely indoors and like cupboards and crap. They're much more likely to bite you than a widow, especially if you put on a shirt not knowing a recluse is hanging out inside.

Fortunately, they're very rare where I am. Technically they only live west of the Appalachian mountains, too humid for them here but if they're transported by boxes indoors you can get them.

 

That's fine then, all's forgiven, I'm putting it back on the list of places to live....