It is with much relief that I read that.... I was convinced you were trying to touch me up when we last met up.
Yet you were the only bloke in history to come to Leeds for a Saturday night out and fail so spectacularly that it was a better alternative to drive 300 miles home.
More to point why haven't you got Roy on a tighter leash. If you let him take walks without you he will become very difficult for you to control in future. #pussywhipped #cuckold
Never needed any help. But seriously what is Matt doing for YOU for you to be so firmly in his corner....