He's a PR man so he is used to selling fridges to eskimos so let him loose on us. SAFC the way to the future..............................
Up until a couple of years ago, I was in sales all of my life and had a very successful career doing so. I'd even find it hard to shift the likes of Danny Graham and Will Buckley!
Ok, I'll have a go at Fletcher.....aherm....(clears throat) 'Sunderland AFC wish, with this fax, to inform all European league clubs of our intention to offer the services of our experienced Premier League striker, Steven Fletcher, for sale. Steven is a consummate professional and now entering his peak career years at the age of 28. A goal scorer for multiple clubs and country, Steven is currently in a purple patch of form this season with a prolific goals to game ratio of a goal for every two games played. Perhaps an underrated talent in the eyes of the media, you need look no further than how Steven compares to the highest performers in Europe when considering the impact he will have at your club. Steven's current goal tally is equal to the combined goal tally of world stars Lewandowski, Ibrahimovic, Messi and Ronaldo for this current season. While his goal scoring threat would be welcome in any side, Steven also offers a superb degree of dependability and fitness having contributed minutes in each of Sunderlands league outings this season. Steven also has unique marketing appeal and would give strong possibilities for offsetting the costs of his transfer for a savvy marketing team. Sponsorship opportunities with Regain, Alpacin and Irn Bru are realistic and potentially lucrative. Steven Fletcher represents a rare opportunity for the fluid and rapid transfer of a special talent on the pitch and a stellar brand asset for your club. ROI is assured.'
Dear Solsec, Thank you for your fax regarding the availability of Steven Fletcher. We were very excited by the prospect of signing a player of Steven's stature and credentials, on the back of your fax we sent our most senior highly decorated scout to watch Steven in his previous game. You crafty bastard.
Herein lies the problem - SAFC are still using faxes whilst the rest of the world has moved on!!!!! Your fantastic offer is actually lying un-noticed curled up on the floor behind reception!
