Transfer Rumours Nicolas Otamendi? (lolsies)

This has to be the most outrageously 'not gonna happen in a million years' rumour of the summer.......

If it did happen I'd crawl on my hands and knees from Consett dressed in a pink tutu, in a mackem shirt down to SJP and spend 90 minutes kissing Mike's rotund ass.


http://thespectatorsview.com/2015/07/28/newcastle-united-in-the-race-for-world-class-defender/

Newcastle United are reportedly in the race to sign £35m-rated Nicolas Otamendi from Valencia. Yes, that sentence sounds as surreal to you as it does to me.
Even to the most casual of football fans, the name Nicolas Otamendi will probably ring a bell. He’s widely regarded as one of the best central defenders in world football, was a member of the La Liga Team of the Year, and has this summer been involved in a seemingly never ending tug-o-war between Valencia, Real Madrid, and Manchester United.
His situation depended on if Sergio Ramos joined Manchester United, and if he did, then Otamendi would move to Real Madrid, and it was thought that if Sergio Ramos stayed in Madrid then Otamendi would move to Manchester United. You get all that? Complicated, I know.
Well the latest news in the world of football is that Newcastle United are now lining up a shock move for the Argentine, as reported by Emanuele Giulianelli (@EmaGiulianelli). Now that name probably doesn’t mean a whole lot to you, but he’s a football writer for numerous publications such as FIFA Weekly, FourFourTwo and La Gazzetta dello Sport amongst others. He was also right about the Wijnaldum and Mitrovic transfers long before they were confirmed.
Now on the surface, this still seems massively far fetched for a club like Newcastle United. Firstly, Manchester United and Real Madrid are both after the player. Secondly, Valencia reportedly want £35m for the 27-year old. Those two reasons combined would normally be enough to dash any hopes, but are they?
Around the same time that Giulianelli reported the NUFC connection, it was reported that Manchester United would NOT move for Otamendi or any other defender, even though Sergio Ramos is now 99.99% likely to stay at Real Madrid – That’s now the two main suitors for Otamendi out of the picture.
Another interesting factor to consider is our new assistant head coach Ian Cathro, who was assistant manager at Valencia for a season, where he coached Otamendi and was thought of very highly amongst the players. Although only a small factor, could this potentially play a part in what would be undoubtedly the signing of the summer?
If the club can get past Valencia’s asking price, we couldn’t really pull this off, could we?

 

Never going to happen

 

I disagree, its litterally a done deal, not only that but Mike Ashley has agreed to not only meet the valuation, but beat it by bidding £45m just for lolsies.

 

Quite how so many clubs didn't buy him for the £8m Valencia paid is a mystery.

 

Cheers Albert! I do like a good laugh to start my day off right

 

I think you're confusing Ashley with Freddie Shepherd a la Luque

 

I can show you me naked too... that may help for tomorrow morning...?

 

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Thanks, but I think I'll pass.

 

You honestly have to ask?