Would you consider killing a member of not606 for free? How funny will I sound if i name vaguely known humans followed by a quirky question? Will my attempt at being wacky for the 475648287 time begin to grate? Would you battle Willy Carson in a thumb war if the prize was a bag of Cheesy Doritos? Oh i've got the hang of this, what a lark!
It's my first time and I have a real job, so I'm trying my best. Here's another: Would you look after Paul Daniel's pet parakeet if he offered to pay for your weekly shop at Iceland? Oh the hilarity!
I haven't got your natural flair for humour (see side-splittingly funny picture of man eating large frankfurter), so I just have to make do with the tools at my disposal. You have a proper job, eh?
How much would you be willing to contribute to set up a memorial to Erica Roe's 1982 streak at Twickenham?
If Gordon Brown's brogues were on sale on eBay for 15 quid and a packet of fruit pastilles, would you consider purchasing them as a gift for your father/brother/son?
Dependant on the size of your waist, how many stoats could you fit down your trousers at any one time?
Were Basil Brush to offer a dive in his fight against Sooty for 23 euros and a bic ballpoint pen, would Gail Platt have toast for breakfast?
If Gail Platt had the toast would Sooty be more nimble in his next fight. Aghhh I'm turning into Dev!
Remember the one at the Snooker. And that serial streaker who popped up everywhere? He streaked at the 1985 Open. And there was a big arrow pointing to his ronson saying 19th hole
