Off Topic Tennis

The womble championships are held there I think

 

Kyrgios having a meltdown about a line call on Court 2 but winning easily

 

Cl is random when it comes to the actual draw for knock outs

 

Haha 'rndom'. Keep believing

 

It is seeded until the quarter-finals

 

It's different in that you have groups though.. So not really the same.

The fa cup would be a better example of how it should work, totally random, throw a few big ties in early and let an under dog have a chance of reaching far into the comp

 

so not at all like the CL then?

 

Translation; "The FA Cup is a better example because it fits my argument"

 

Well yes... Hardly going to pick an example which goes against my argument am I

i think it should be a free for all from the start of proper comp and seedlings shouldn't be taken into account... Like the FA cup is.

 

Well, I think every competition should be a free for all but they're not. Even the FA Cup isn't with PL teams not being involved until the third round.

 

the first thing that happens in that case is some clown whinges the dream final is not on as it took place in round 4 or something.

usually the best will get though to the finals anyway but the tennis lovies who only get tickets for the final would be upset if they final they wanted is not on.

 

The History of Wimbledon, according to Chris (Simpsons artist)

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because wimbledon is back for another year here is the history of wimbledon for you to have a read of so you can become a bit of a wimbledon expert and impress your friends or your wife so they will think you are the most tennis one of them all.

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CHRIS (SIMPSONS ARTIST)



Monday 29 June 2015

1945 - tennis is accidentally invented by geoffrey tennis in his back garden while throwing a plum at the back of his wife annettes head as she slept on the grass

1947 - the first wimbledon is won by a man called glen littles who was known to have the littlest hands in the world that measured only 1cm long when fully erect

1948 - a man with tiny bell earrings entertains the crowd in the rain

1950 - andy murray is born

1952 - a mysterious priest is spotted walking around wimbledon handing out feathers to children

1954 - the first net made out of human skin is used at wimbledon

1956 - a baby called tim henman is born on the main hill next to wimbledon and is officially announced as the unofficial mascot of wimbledon

1957 - sausages on sticks become popular at wimbledon

1958 - dot wiggins wins the wimbledon ladies singles title for the first time since she was born

1959 - the idea of using balls instead of plums is put forward by the tennis elders

1960 - ryan ****t becomes the youngest person to ever win wimbledon at 5 years old and he is awarded a bit of plastic by the queen

1961 - tennis is officially a sport

1962 - a ballboy reveals himself to be a fully grown man at half time to the amusement of the crowd

1963 - german player boris becker says he would rather lick his own spit off a giants forehead than play tennis at wimbledon ever again

1964 - boris becker returns to wimbledon by jumping out of a bale of hay on centre court

1967 - quiche is named the number 1 food that reminds people of tennis

1968 - a man is arrested for telling people he is wimbledon and charging them money to climb inside of his mouth

1969 - a single tulip replaces the net on centre court for the third year in a row

1970 - no tennis

1971 - tim henman delivers a speech from the top of henman hill and admits he has been visited by ghosts

1972 - wimbledon shown on television for the first time

1974 - the longest match in professional tennis history happened this year and lasted for almost 1 hour and only ended when both of the players were put down

1975 - tennis is voted the main thing people like to think about when they are on their own in a car

1976 - the popular singers of the moment the bee gees perform their tennis themed song tennis tension in front of prince harry on centre court

1977 – tim henman appears at the side of centre court and then vanishes into thin air. he will not be seen again for 26 years

1978 - rumours spread around wimbledon that tim henman is a ghost

1980 - a young lenny henry entertains the crowd by putting his fingers down his throat and making himself sick into a glass tube shaped like a boys face. a performance that has recently got him a knighthood from the queen

1983 - clapping is allowed at wimbledon for the first time in its history and is celebrated with a massive round of applause

1985 - sausages on sticks are banned from wimbledon again after more deaths. for gods sake why does this keep happening

1986 - john mcenroe screams his famous you have got to be kidding me speech to the referee when he is told that tim henman might have become a ghost

1989 - the official wimbledon helmet is launched

1990 - the wimbledon logo is changed from a couple of tennis bats to a mans screaming face

1991 - television magician paul daniels declares wimbledon officially open by taking a dove out of a plastic bag and showing it to everyone

1993 - balls replace plums for the first time in the history of tennis

1999 - popular singer cliff richard entertains the crowd in the rain by doing a romantic dance performance to the east 17 song stay another day

2001 - andy murray wins wimbledon and becomes the greatest scottish tennis player that england has ever had

2003 - tim henmans ghost is seen walking across centre court and waving at the crowd

2004 - tim henmans ghost wins wimbledon

2006 - prime minister david cameron declares wimbledon open by tying a ribbon around his wrist and shaking it at the crowd

2009 - spanish player roger federer kisses a ball and throws it into the air and it never returns

2011 - andy murray breaks down in tears on centre court after admitting tim henmans ghost has been visiting him at night time

2012 - wimbledon overtakes pets at home as the most popular day out in the country

2014 - prince william waves to the crowd

2015 - what will happen this year who knows it is a mystery



Chris (Simpsons artist) xox

it is my facebook page

it is my twitter

it is my website and my shop

 

Watched Broady come from 2 sets down to win - very exciting.

 

Serena Williams through to second round.

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Was a good match, let's see who he gets next and if he can win again

 

Give a ****

 

Heather Watson through, came back from three match points to win. Brits showing some good determination, nice to see.

 

Who?

 

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Heather Watson, as he said.

 

She looks worthy of a pumping. Is she a lesbian?