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Off Topic Sky TV Rip Off Cancelled

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by look_back_in_amber, Apr 22, 2015.

  1. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    The boss asked me not to go to a conference today, didnt tell me he was going to it the ****. Left loads of **** for me to deal with and my assistant went sick. Twats.

    Anyway Costanzas rules are always helpful for work

    1. Never walk without a document in your hands: People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

    2. Use computers to look busy: Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss–and you *will* get caught–your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

    3. Messy desk: Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

    4. Voice Mail: Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing–they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there – it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel.

    5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed: According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

    6. Leave the office late: Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

    7. Creative Sighing for Effect: Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

    8. Stacking Strategy: It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

    9. Build Vocabulary: Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

    10. MOST IMPORTANT: DON’T email this to your boss by mistake!!!
     
    #161
    Sir Cheshire Ben likes this.
  2. Barchullona

    Barchullona Well-Known Member

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    Proper HD on more than a handful of channels. A bit pointless having an HD TV if you are watching a SD picture for everything.
     
    #162
  3. Sir Cheshire Ben

    Sir Cheshire Ben Well-Known Member

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    Not connected to the boss, but when I started in my current role I transferred with a long time mate. We sat back to back at our new desks. One of the birds (or female co-workers if you're PC) came over to introduce herself. When she ****ed off back to her desk he sent me an email asking the obvious "would ya?" After 5 minutes he turned round & asked why I'd not replied as she was quite fit & the answer was obvious. I didn't know what the **** he was on about, daft **** had sent the email to her. It's been frosty for the last 7 years. Frigid bitch.
     
    #163
  4. look_back_in_amber

    look_back_in_amber Well-Known Member

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    Love the new signature Ben. Tickles, what a prize ****!
     
    #164
    Sir Cheshire Ben likes this.
  5. look_back_in_amber

    look_back_in_amber Well-Known Member

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    <laugh><laugh><laugh>
     
    #165
  6. SuitedandBooted

    SuitedandBooted Well-Known Member

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    I watch everything HD and it's a much better quality hd than sky. So what can't I get that I can with Sky
     
    #166
  7. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure Ben's nickname is as catchy as The Rocket or the Hurricane or even, Interesting. Its different mind.
     
    #167
  8. Barchullona

    Barchullona Well-Known Member

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    Well I use TVCM/Kodi and you can't get everything in HD that you can on SKY.
    Am going to use TVCM for football, films and some foreign programmes but continue with SKY for other stuff.
    Didn't get rid of Sky Sports because I couldn't afford it but because of a growing distaste at helping funded the bloated wages of second rate footballers.
     
    #168
    look_back_in_amber likes this.
  9. The FRENCH TICKLER

    The FRENCH TICKLER Well-Known Member

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    Me grow up ? FFS. Kettle and pot time again.
     
    #169
  10. The FRENCH TICKLER

    The FRENCH TICKLER Well-Known Member

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    WTF.... Who or what is Rikki lake ?
     
    #170

  11. look_back_in_amber

    look_back_in_amber Well-Known Member

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    Agree 100%, I still don't expect Tickles to understand that though.
     
    #171
  12. The FRENCH TICKLER

    The FRENCH TICKLER Well-Known Member

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    Do you understand anything ?

    How little you and certain others actually do.
     
    #172
  13. Quill

    Quill Bastard

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    You're right, Tickles doesn't understand.
     
    #173
  14. The FRENCH TICKLER

    The FRENCH TICKLER Well-Known Member

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    If you say so. dohrrtrr
     
    #174
  15. SuitedandBooted

    SuitedandBooted Well-Known Member

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    Well you obviously don't otherwise you wouldn't be saying that paying each month is better than getting those same channels and much more for free.
     
    #175
  16. The FRENCH TICKLER

    The FRENCH TICKLER Well-Known Member

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    Lol.

    It is free for a reason. But if you like it then so be it.

    As o said yesterday before the vulgar comments It does not cost me anything like the wonga you keep quoting.
     
    #176
  17. look_back_in_amber

    look_back_in_amber Well-Known Member

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    This is up to your usual standard Tickles, complete nonsense.
     
    #177
  18. Barchullona

    Barchullona Well-Known Member

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    Of course if some people didn't pay for the channels there wouldn't be any channels for you to get for free, would there?
     
    #178
  19. BOJACKHCAFCMAN

    BOJACKHCAFCMAN Well-Known Member

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    The unfortunate truth is that you can't bank on any illegal streams to work when you need them, torrents are good for downloading films and TV or direct download sites for that matter but live streams are hit and miss so Sky is a safe bet for sports even if it is a complete ripoff
     
    #179
  20. bum_chinned_crab

    bum_chinned_crab Well-Known Member

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    There;s a lot of whingeing on here about something that is completely optional. It's not the BBC and you're forced to pay it and can therefore be annoyed with how they spend your money. If you dont like it dont have it.

    Done.
     
    #180
    Barchullona likes this.

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