Surreyhoop, It's incredibly brave of you to post a thread on what is probably one of the hugest issues for a person to admit to. It's also a huge testament to our forum members that you feel you can trust them to help you with what is a very sensitive concern. I hope they can oblige with the respect it deserves as the many posters above already have.
First of all...and I don't expect you to answer these questions on here, they're rhetorical and just me thinking out loud to maybe just to add some clarity. Have you made any attempts to quit or cut down your drinking either on your own or with professional help?
Which end of the spectrum are you at? I would imagine that would range from having a few drinks most evenings to drinking from the moment you wake and continuing until you go to sleep.
Do you want to cut down or give up completely. ( Maybe the first option is the first port of call, so to speak.)
Is your dependency physical, mental or both?
Depending on your answers and having established where you are, you need to decide what level of help you may need. It may just be that you can go it alone and make small changes that over a period of time add up and you can achieve the desired result. If you feel that you need expert advice there is an abundance of sources that can help, a quick google search should throw up lots of different therapies and choices.
One extreme case that I know of was someone I worked with. He's recently retired. About ten years ago he came to work at our station in a non operational capacity. We got chatting and I asked him why he was on 'light duties.'
''I'm an alcoholic.'' he replied
He then voluntarily told me his story. Here's one example... He used to come off of a night shift and head for the pub. On his way to the pub he would buy a half bottle of vodka from the 'offy' and drink this en-route to the boozer to get warmed up. He would then remain there all day continuously drinking until 5.45 when he would have to stop as he had to get back to the station for his second night shift. It didn't end there either, he would continue drinking on *duty* and this cycle would become even more protracted on his days off!
It was only when he got arrested when in one of his drunken stupors he tried to kill his wife by setting fire to his own house! ( Although he claims that he doesn't remember any of this. ) He was arrested and of course the brigade got involved and entered him into one of our rehab centres. He amazingly kept his job came back on full duties and has never touched a drop since and doesn't even give alcohol a second thought any more.
I only tell this tale as it is to my mind a very extreme case and if he could do it I'd hope that most people can.
I wish you all the best mate and really hope that you can do this.
* Drinking on duty has now been banned from the London Fire Brigade. Random alcohol and drugs testing are now regularly carried out.
