I used to say , aye viewpark then my maw would say "**** yoo fatty , it was b hill maternity ya wee prick" Ah the love of North Lanarkshire maw ...
...then a slap across the back of the heid. Or a heid seeking slipper launched across the room "Bring that back!" "I don't want to " ...second heid seeking slipper lauched.
I've got a better one. Went to my pals the day after Christmas one year and he had told his dad earlier he wanted pizza for dinner. I showed up and after telling him I didn't want any pizza neither did he. His dad launched the hammer his boy had given him not 24 hours previous right at him. Luckily, or unfortunately, he missed. The good old days. When skelping your kids arse and throwing tools at them was ok
Apparently the nurse was quoted as saying "wow that's the biggest penis I think I've ever seen on a baby"