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Pussy.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 11, 2011.

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  1. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    How do I stop cats ****ting all over my lawn as its getting beyond a joke!
     
    #1
    Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 11, 2011
  2. Natchrawldry

    Natchrawldry Active Member

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    Shoot them
     
    #2
    Natchrawldry, Jul 11, 2011
  3. Reggie

    Reggie Member

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    Concrete your garden over.
     
    #3
    Reggie, Jul 11, 2011
  4. Natchrawldry

    Natchrawldry Active Member

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    Seriously though, get yourself one of those Bengal cats, they'll scare the living **** out of any domestic cats who won't want to leave their house <ok>
     
    #4
    Natchrawldry, Jul 11, 2011
  5. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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    Or get a jack russell.
     
    #5
    stopmeandslapme, Jul 11, 2011
  6. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    apparently sprinkling black pepper or cayenne works (thats whats in those spray things apparently)

    also moth balls keep them away, but these are toxic and dogs eat them and get very ill/dead

    Another way if you live near a zoo is get something with lion pish on it.
     
    #6
    thefanwithnoname, Jul 11, 2011
  7. psycho

    psycho Member

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    **** in their litter tray.
     
    #7
    psycho, Jul 11, 2011
  8. jerseymackem

    jerseymackem Active Member

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    Buy a ****ing tiger (no, not a Hull fan)
     
    #8
    jerseymackem, Jul 11, 2011
  9. Bullet tooth Tony

    Bullet tooth Tony Well-Known Member

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    Catch it and rub English mustard on its arsehole. It try's to lick it of it burns its tongue. It will never come back to your domain again, Promise.
     
    #9
    Bullet tooth Tony, Jul 11, 2011
  10. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Ive heard the one about lion piss to be fair
     
    #10
    Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 11, 2011

  11. Bullet tooth Tony

    Bullet tooth Tony Well-Known Member

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    Yeah but where you gonna get lion piss from. A millwall fan?
     
    #11
    Bullet tooth Tony, Jul 11, 2011
  12. Sooperhoop

    Sooperhoop Well-Known Member

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    Lion manure, from a zoo. You'll never see the scrawny bastard again!...:grin:
     
    #12
    Sooperhoop, Jul 11, 2011
  13. Bullet tooth Tony

    Bullet tooth Tony Well-Known Member

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    Nuke the ****er!
     
    #13
    Bullet tooth Tony, Jul 11, 2011
  14. Ciaran

    Ciaran Going for 55

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    The locals near my house in Spain put plastic Coke bottles full of water about their gardens. It keeps the strays away for some reason.
     
    #14
    Ciaran, Jul 11, 2011
  15. Bullet tooth Tony

    Bullet tooth Tony Well-Known Member

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    Heard that too but to keep slugs off not cats.
     
    #15
    Bullet tooth Tony, Jul 11, 2011
  16. Jip Jaap Stam

    Jip Jaap Stam General Chat Moderator
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    They see their own reflection in the bottle and **** themselves (believing it to be another cat).
     
    #16
    Jip Jaap Stam, Jul 11, 2011
  17. Bullet tooth Tony

    Bullet tooth Tony Well-Known Member

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    That's the dumbest statement I have ever heard.
     
    #17
    Bullet tooth Tony, Jul 11, 2011
  18. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    Sew up their arseholes.
     
    #18
    Otto Flayshow, Jul 11, 2011
  19. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Broken glass on the Borders?
     
    #19
    Albert's Chip Shop, Jul 11, 2011
  20. Billy Death

    Billy Death Guest

    A couple of lurchers should do the trick.

    The ****ers will murder owt small and furry. They grab them by the neck and the bite and shake snaps them.
     
    #20
    Billy Death, Jul 12, 2011
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