I would relish the opportunity to take the helm on the business side of things at QPR. It would begin by setting out a clear commercial plan and then reposition the values of the club. This needs to be done in the next month to allow any transfer negotiations to take place within this framework. Then an integrated press, PR and marketing campaign to communicate this positively. What a fantastic opportunity to turn things around!
Alright you're in. "If there's one thing the PFJ hates more than the romans it's the ****ing Judean peoples front."
I would be rooted in the recent traditions of the club and employ exclusively Haitian voodoo management techniques. Following the ritual slaughter of a goat and 25 chickens (one for each squad member) our pitch will be purified. Player acquisitions will continue to be made based on star signs, Zombie players, such as SWP, will be given priority in contract negotiations. Financial policy will be dictated by casting chicken bones. With this level of continuity our success with doubtless be maintained for many years to come.
10 reasons why I would like to apply for the role of CEO at QPR: . 1 I can find the ground without resorting to a sat nav. 2 I have a handy link to the Football Conference so we will not get lost at away games http://www.footballgroundguide.com/leagues/conference.html 3 I know we play in blue and white because those are the predominant colours on all my half and half scarves (joke for TerryB there) 4 I know a man who knows a man, who can get the academy team some free time to practice on some waste ground in Hounslow 5 I know a man who knows a man (not the same man as above obviously) who can sign us a few really tasty players, they may be a bit old but they are definitely the right sort.... 6 I once bought a car off of “Car Giant” and it wasn't very good...so they owe me a favour 7 I can count and am not usually taken in by cut price sales of damaged goods that no-one else will touch 8 I do not know how to use twitter 9 I have been on holiday, and so know about visas 10 Finally I know that QPR are only successful when playing in thick hoops and so that is the only thing I will need to change to develop a successful team
All the above plus get a Feng Shui consultant in who'll recommend renewing the toilets, something to do with running water and facing the wrong direction...
Put it this way, Sku ............... the only way is up so it would be pretty hard to stuff things up even more. I'll second the motion! Those in favour say, Aye. I think the aye's have it. You start on Monday .................... don't be late!
