Yesterday the Greens were out canvassing in my local shopping centre. I ended up having a brief conversation with these delightfully eccentric, perhaps slightly batty women. I came away wondering whether a the world run by delightfully eccentric slightly batty women might not be better than the current world which seems to be run by greedy selfish bastards. Granted, the Green party's sums don't really add up, but nor do anyone else's. And George Gidiot Osbourne is living proof that economies do recover in spite of the best efforts of politicians, not because of them. Anyone with the slightest historical knowledge of the Great Depression of the 1930s will be aware that George did everything history told him not to do. Yet still somehow the British economy is limping very slowly back to growth. So this got me thinking. If even the fool Osbourne couldn't completely **** up the UK economy, would it be at any greater risk in the hands of the Greens? At least they're nice people, whereas everyone knows deep down that theTories are still and always will be the nasty party. And whilst I have no desire either to live on a diet of lentils and mung beans nor to drive a Prius, I am tempted to consider letting a few well meaning crackpots join the rest of the ill intentioned crackpots currently trying to screw things up from Westminster. So I might vote Green. At least they give a **** about something other than money.
No need for that. A fair days work for a fair days pay, and a decent but modest home in which to bring up your family ought to be enough. That's all my Grandad ever asked for, and its also what he and millions of others fought for.
But they want to ban horse racing. Their manifesto says they'll carry out a review into all racing with animals with a view to improving welfare but what they really want is a ban. So fook em.
I don't know how up to date the numbers are, but I've read that the racing game in the UK impacts to the tune of 3.7 billion pounds per year, generating 325 million in taxes. Punters inject a whopping 10 billion into the economy allowing bookies to make a billion per year. Employment stands somewhere around 250,000 people. So I was wondering, if the Greens or anyone else decided to kill off racing, would the annual injection into the economy of the combined 13.7 billion offset the loss of racing? Who knows, maybe we'd be better off without the sport of kings.
Loving this thread - keep up the good work QM I'd vote for Eeze if he was standing, but in his absence NOTA are a viable alternative
Reebs, we thought that you would be looking to vote for Joey Essex. Not sure what he represents... After the Channel 4 show The Last Leg, the Institute for Fiscal Studies have taken another look at the Tory Manifesto figures and decided that they add up pretty well: please log in to view this image
Joey Essex represents a confirmation of all the old Essex jokes. And a further confirmation, as if any were needed, that when Television can't find anyone talented, they point the lenses at someone simple to give everyone a cheap laugh. I don't blame the lad - he is grasping the opportunity to earn a few bob while he can - but the media's obsession with turning non-entity into celebrity for 5 minutes. But vote for him? Are people really that gullible?
We at the None Of The Above Party have great sympathy for our poor postman as he has to visit every house on his round to stuff election literature through the letterboxes of the apathetic electorate. Last week he visited and pushed leaflets for UKIP and the TUSC candidates through our letterbox on the same morning. Both leaflets clearly indicate their party’s policies and highlight the local candidates without making any reference to any of the other parties. That is fair enough, we know where they stand. On Saturday morning he visited with a leaflet for the incumbent Labour candidate. This leaflet mentioned the LibDems breaking their Tuition Fee pledge, the Coalition not clearing the Fiscal Deficit (without mentioning who created the Deficit), the Coalition raising VAT to 20% and the Coalition allegedly performing a “chaotic re-organisation” of the NHS. There were lots of pictures of the candidate but no mention of any policies other than one sentence that states they will “outlaw zero-hours contracts, repeal the bedroom tax, invest in our infrastructure”. There was no space to mention the Party leader either. We do not expect to hear from the Tory candidate as the runner-up last time was the Liberal Democrat, who may get round to a leaflet if their candidate can find a photocopier. We are giving the postman an easy time as we do not need to send out any leaflets to get a bigger percentage of the national vote than the UKIP, the TUSC, the Liberal Democrats and the SNP.
QM, if you want any help delivering your leaflets, let me know. I can get you a good deal so long as you are paying cash.
Archers, we are not doing any leaflets. Our campaign co-ordinator is on a zero-hours contract and takes the view that our online presence (i.e. this thread) is all that we need. If Labour get in they will outlaw his contract and he will be unemployed. The internet worked for Barack Obama. The IFS says that all the other party’s manifestos are full of holes – they even say that the SNP’s anti-austerity manifesto has loads of hidden cuts in it. We have not even sent them ours so we can promise anything that we like to the thirty five per cent of the electorate that vote None Of The Above. Why pay anyone? We are currently trying to decide which of the Chuckle Brothers to put in charge of Defence and Education.
We at the ‘None Of The Above’ Party already have 35% of the vote wrapped up... Predictions: Northern Ireland: No significant change. Wales: No real change for Plaid Cymru – maybe 3 or 4 seats. Scotland: SNP full house provided that they are not complacent and actually show up to vote. England: Greens – maybe 1 seat; UKIP – maybe 2 or 3 seats; Lib Dems – less than 30 seats; Tories more seats than Labour. Nick Clegg will retain his seat with a much reduced majority thanks to Tory tactical voting to keep Labour out. We are amused by the idea that he could give the Conservatives a heart and Labour a brain – has he watched the Wizard of Oz too many times on the bus from Lands’ End to John o’Groats? In 2010, Gus O’Donnell (the GOD that does exist) brokered the Coalition that everyone said would not last three years, but he is not around to do a fix for Cameron this time if Tories plus Lib Dems is less than 323. Hell yes, Miliband might get a crack at it if Cameron does a minority and Nicola Sturgeon (Alex Salmond’s proxy) brings it down.
We at the ‘None Of The Above’ Party are disappointed in some of our followers. North of the Border, a considerable number of them turned out for the pseudo anti-austerity party to rout Labour and the Liberal Democrats, seeing the turnout increase by nine per cent. Our predictions came up slightly short in Scotland and the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) did not fare as well as expected. The Conservatives did better than expected so they do not need an alliance with what is left of the Liberal Democrats. No red lines. There will undoubtedly be calls for electoral reform because the SNP have nearly nine per cent of the seats in Parliament on around five per cent of the national vote whilst UKIP gained more than twice that percentage but just one seat, the Greens gained nearly four per cent but just one seat and the Liberal Democrats have one per cent of the seats on around eight per cent of the vote. We predict now that a British exit (“Brexit”) from the European Union in now inevitable. There should be a Referendum in 2017 that may see it start in two years time. At the 2020 General Election, there is a strong possibility that UKIP will gain some semblance of political power as they are now the second party in a significant number of seats and control of immigration is the key policy that garners them votes and the European Union is not prepared to change its open borders rule.
