The Relegation Rivals Thread Of Looking Over Your Shoulder Like a Paranoid Schizophrenic

So we're in it... Might as well have a thread to chronicle the despair as we watch those around us rally to the occasion, while we limp aimlessly like the fat kid who will definitely be the first to be eaten by zombies, whilst moaning about it... That's why we don't care they get eaten, in fact we may even raise a small similarly acknowledged nod of relief... Anyway... Yes...

Here you will find an updated table of foes as we cling to survival... I say updated. Undoubtedly I will fail to do this and Less Hope will have to disconsolately pick up the pieces, like a brow-beaten Missus... I should point out I resisted making another comparison to Mayweather's charges for hitting women. He smacks them.

Table-

Pos---Team-------Played--Points---GD
14. Aston Villa-----35--------35------ (-21)
15. Newcastle-----35--------35------ (-24)
16. Leicester-------35--------34------ (-15)
17. Hull Tigers-----35--------34------ (-15)
-----------------------------------------------
18. Sun'lun---------34--------33------ (-22)
19. QPR------------35--------27------ (-22)
20. Burnley---------35-------26------- (-27)

You will also find commentary on the other games effecting our survival hopes, starting with Hull Tigers vs Arsenal. Let's begin the hope we stay up on the basis of everyone else being ****, rather than us being good!

 

Hull Line-Up: Harper; Chester, Dawson's (Up ****) Creek, John McSShhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaane; Elmo'sHammeredDay, Huddlestone, Livermore, Harley Quinn, BradyBunch; AlukoSkywalker, N'Doye'MNeverGonna Say Goodbye.

Arsenal Line-Up: Ospina, Bellerin, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Cazorla, Ramsey, Ozil, Alexis, Giroud.

It might be difficult to tell which players from the Hull line-up I admire.

 

Howay the Arse!

 

In fact, up the Arse!

 

Come on Santi Cazorla

 

I apologise for my slow uptake of commentary, I was having a Kimi moment.

 

If Hull win tonight I think that could be the penultimate nail in the coffin, the final one being drove in if we fail to win on Saturday and Sunderland beat Everton.

 

Magic Moussa Sissoko on a trip to the Emirates-

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I'd go up the arse tonight.

 

Bellerin crosses in from the edge of the box... Huddlestone flicks it at Harper. If Tom played for Sunderland that would have ballooned hilariously into the net for the opening goal. ****ing boooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Sanchez and Ozil combine, and the former works space to shoot.... Straight at Harper, who proves he never really loved us by keeping it out well with a low dive... You know you want to Steve... We won't say owt...

 

19 mins: Steve Bruce is an ugly bastard... That is all.

 

20 Mins: N'Doye-eeee-oooyyyyeeeeewillalwaysloveyou... Especially if you miss by that far all night. Shot from 45 yards goes way wide. Papiss Cisse's tired-right-foot-mocks you.

 

22 min: Bradybunch puts in a stormer of a cross (I forgot what a winger crossing the ball with pace and curl looked like, so I almost described it as a wiffa-waffa), and AlukoSkywalker heads meekly from 6 yards out and Per hoofs it away. Someone knight that boy!

 

You missed off FAT.

 

27 mins: Huddlestone loses it, Sanchez away, Livermore (on a yellow) hacks him down cynically. Only Toon players get reds apparently.

WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I name this day, "Sanchez day". Fajita's all-round... Or whatever his countrymen eat.

 

1-nil arsenal!

 

28 mins: GOAL Sanchez (free-kick) from 25 yards. Deflects into top corner off the wall. Hull 0 - 1 Arsenal.

 

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL