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Match Day Thread Newcastle United v Swansea - Official Buildup/Matchday Thread

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Albert's Chip Shop, Apr 20, 2015.

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  1. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    <laugh>
    This. It truly is a flying circus at the club now. And we wonder why we can't get - and keep - quality players and manager.
     
    #41
    Obi Wan, Apr 23, 2015
  2. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Can he play centre back?
     
    #42
    Warmir Pouchov, Apr 23, 2015
  3. Beardsley's Rancid Sack

    Beardsley's Rancid Sack Well-Known Member

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    Anderson being shamefully supportive of Carver atm on totalsport. Trying forlornly to convince the masses Mr Carver is a 'good coach'.

    What a complete ****ing spanner.
     
    #43
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack, Apr 23, 2015
  4. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    How dare you say that! Spanners can be very useful for certain household jobs you've just deeply offended the spanner community.
     
    #44
    Obi Wan, Apr 23, 2015
    Gordonthetoony likes this.
  5. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    So many jokes available but I shall resist :biggrin:
     
    #45
    Warmir Pouchov, Apr 23, 2015
  6. It's_all_Greek_to_me

    It's_all_Greek_to_me Well-Known Member

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    Carver a good coach. That's like saying that the Captain of the Titanic was a fantastic navigator.
     
    #46
    It's_all_Greek_to_me, Apr 23, 2015

  7. Matthew Bound Still Lurks

    Matthew Bound Still Lurks Well-Known Member

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    Good guy maybe but coach probably not
     
    #47
    Matthew Bound Still Lurks, Apr 23, 2015
  8. Beardsley's Rancid Sack

    Beardsley's Rancid Sack Well-Known Member

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    No he is a **** mate, a foul mouthed little piece of **** that is a waste of ****ing organs.
     
    #48
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack, Apr 23, 2015
  9. Obi Wan

    Obi Wan keeper of the peace Forum Moderator

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    Do you not like it when people are foul mouthed then BRS?
     
    #49
    Obi Wan, Apr 23, 2015
    ClearlyDeludedGloryHunter, G4rdToonArmy, J. J. McClure and 1 other person like this.
  10. Matthew Bound Still Lurks

    Matthew Bound Still Lurks Well-Known Member

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    Does he owe you money <laugh>
     
    #50
    Matthew Bound Still Lurks, Apr 24, 2015
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack likes this.
  11. Freddd

    Freddd Well-Known Member

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    Oddly, he was.
     
    #51
    Freddd, Apr 24, 2015
  12. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    I agree, however the navigator of the iceberg wasn't too clever.
     
    #52
    jimileysbaldhead, Apr 24, 2015
  13. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    3-1 do you reckon Jim? I have my tuppence ready to bet.
     
    #53
    Warmir Pouchov, Apr 24, 2015
  14. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    If ever a 3-1 win was written in the stars it's this week. I'm lumping on it big time.
     
    #54
    jimileysbaldhead, Apr 24, 2015
  15. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    The tags are very revealing about the warped things some of our regulars get up to.

    Albert is also officially the oldest man to ever live.
     
    #55
    Warmir Pouchov, Apr 24, 2015
  16. Beardsley's Rancid Sack

    Beardsley's Rancid Sack Well-Known Member

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    Some wonderful words from our soon to be permanent coach

    “I’d love to show you clips of our training sessions. You would actually think there was nothing wrong.'

    The bloke is a madman and needs to be publicly scourged then broken on the wheel for the good of humanity. As the wheel is then doused and set aflame Stone and Woodman arrive onto the execution platform, tonsured and barefoot, say their farewells which is met by a barrage of human excrement from the baying mob then chucked screaming into the fire.
     
    #56
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2015
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack, Apr 24, 2015
    whack&blite likes this.
  17. Warmir Pouchov

    Warmir Pouchov Better than JPF

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    Didn't stop you putting it to him in the swan position if the tags are to be believed
     
    #57
    Warmir Pouchov, Apr 24, 2015
  18. Rum & Black for 2

    Rum & Black for 2 Champion’s League Prediction League Champion Forum Moderator

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    When the Head of the "John Carver Fan Club" speaks, you just have to listen.
     
    #58
    Rum & Black for 2, Apr 24, 2015
  19. Lord Jonjomort

    Lord Jonjomort Well-Known Member

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    “They don’t see what I do on the training ground preparing the team but the people on the inside do.”

    John Carver is a certifiable fcking lunatic. As an individual, you're paid £30k every week to get to "work" for 10am, kick a ball, do some exercise, eat a cooked lunch, do some more exercise then fck off at 3pm. I am overweight and only just the right side of 40, yet I put my all in when I play 5 a side with mates once a week, it's just what humans do. He does not seem to grasp the concept that it's his job, the very essence of his job, to know how to differentiate between a fcking training session and professional football match. John Carver, in my mind, is more like a P.E. teacher who looks after the first eleven. He should not be saying such idiotic things as the above, his lack of understanding of his own situation, how hated he is, is staggering. That said, it makes sense that a man so woefully not self-aware wouldn't be able to work out which players are match players and which are just 'in a job' (to coin an Assou-Ekotto-ism).

    There has never been a more inappropriate bunch of people involved in a football club than Mike "Greed" Ashley, Lee "Secretary" Charnley and John "PE Teacher" Carver.
     
    #59
    Lord Jonjomort, Apr 24, 2015
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack likes this.
  20. TurkeyToon

    TurkeyToon Active Member

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    Carver is a fecking little Goblin-like useless cnut. If he mention sir Bobby one more time in a pathetic attempt to sway the fans I swear I will bring down vengence upon him. Feck the GOBLIN!!!!!!!
     
    #60
    TurkeyToon, Apr 24, 2015
    Beardsley's Rancid Sack likes this.
Page 3 of 8
: BRS rode Carver in swan position, Nev jacked to RosieO'Donnell/KathyBurke swan dive, Windy in sea of cum on swans face shame, TGE in cygnet ring shame, Carver has sex with farm animals, tge rimmed ugly duckling
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