Off Topic The power of make up - I'm literally speechless....

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There's much more than simply makeup going on there...

 

Like a chin replacement!

 

That's what happens when you drink too much of that Voddy Tash. Problem is in the morning she'll be like the first one again - only worse. I'd get checked by the doctor if I were you.

 

Ahh wid x 2

 

Not if you've done the old spoon and roll routine and escaped before she has the chance to turn back.

Deploy the “spoon and roll” technique if you cannot easily free your arm. If your arm is truly trapped, use the spoon and roll method, which will make your ****buddy think you are simply giving her an extra hug (when in reality you're escaping her evil clutches):

• Pull your partner closer to you. Your partner will be closer to your body than arm itself.
• Gently roll your partner away from you, going in the direction in which she is facing. This will help you to remove your hand without waking her up. While you are rolling, slide your arm out from underneath your lover and slide it underneath your body.

You haven't lived until you have been caught executing this routine. The excitement is great. I was once caught climbing out of the upstairs window at 4am. I'd been down to the front door, successfully not waking her up, and found she had locked it removing the key (psycho). She had left her dog in the kitchen so I couldn't get to the back door. I went back upstairs, crept back in, and decided to give up. I then spotted the flat roof below her bedroom window and decided I could do it. I was just dragging my other leg out and she said "what the hell are you doing?" Needless to say my explanation about having football in the morning and not wanting to wake her didn't really wash. I continued on, climbed out and she shouted out the window "YOU'RE A TOSSER!" Great times.

 

Classy, real classy.

 

The exuberance of youth Trev, I'd probably pull a hammy if I tried that now.

 

I had the same. She wasn't locking you in, she was locking her husband out. Some loser called Albert who works in a chip shop.