Match Day Thread Newcastle United v Swansea - Official Buildup/Matchday Thread

Deal.
Can you sort the detail please.
Seriously though, we are like a charity right now.
We hand out 3 points like the paperboy from the 80's arcade game where he chucks papers round willy nilly.

 

My money is on us getting beat 3-1

 

We've got a few players missing through injuries/suspension/players out of form. It's going to be 0-0.

 

True! According to JPF, TGE is filthy, rich and has a huge box.

We are indeed in freefall with no bungee or parachute. But this is the one, I can feel it. The stars are aligning. Jimmy will finally be right and see a "3-1 to the Toon".


Either that or we'll lose 4-0. I can't quite decide.

 

Wisely observed oh rotund one.

 

I was joking, mate - fair play to you, always wanted to try and just spend a little with shares but just can't find the time.

 

Thanks for the explanation and apologies for the flippant comments about boycotting etc. I dont think I could do it

Sorry i was being flippant there. I have absolutely no problem with you making money betting against Newcastle. Just glad that someone other than Mike Ashley is making money out of our underinvestment in players.
Never thought of house insurance as a bet but I guess thats exactly how insurance premiums are calculated. I would never take out life insurance on my wife though. Firstly how could money compensate for something so irreplaceable and secondly the police always regard this as motive if there are suspicious circumstances!

 

And just to prove I should never be allowed near betting sites I think we will win this one. Carver told me this.

 

We have no strikers at the club (Gomis injured, Bony sold, Oliviera more of an attacking mid) and only 1 full back (Naughton out for the season, Taylor suspended and 2 out on loan). We had to play a Center half at left back last game, it didnt go well.
I think this game will be 0-0 as we are completely toothless right now. Otherwise I see it as a 1-0 to you guys.

 

Its starting to sound like the 3 yorkshiremen sketch now.
Luxury! We have been playing left backs and right backs at centre back most of the season as we only have two fit centre backs, one who spends most of his time suspended and the other one who is a waste of space anyway. We had 3 youngsters on our bench last week who had never kicked a ball for the first team. We have on paper 5 strikers. However one is just recovering from a collapsed lung, another is suspended for impersonating a llama, one hasn't scored since November, one hasn't scored full stop and there are serious doubts whether the other one actually exists.
And you tell that to the youth of today........................
If you formally offer us a 0-0 now we will gratefully accept it. The only reason we want the game played is so that we can boycott it.
Oh and the reason you have no left backs is due to the world shortage our previous manager created by signing all available ones over previous seasons. There is actually a surplus left back mountain just north of Newcastle although we did try to shift it to Glasgow in January.

 

I see nothing but a 4-0 victory as acceptable. I think JC has done a great job of lulling them into a false sense of security by deliberately losing the last 6. They'll think its a gimme. Bravo Johnny.

My little bro grew up watching Johnny Bravo - great cartoon. My favourite line?

"You look pretty...I look pretty...why don't we go home and stare at each other?"

 

(Swans fan)

I hope we get revenge for the game in Swansea - was that your first win in 73 games or something?

Even if you don't get another point you're safe from relegation,I know you want a hell of a lot more than that but it's probably time to start thinking about next year.

Looking forward to a good weekend.

 

We're 7 points off the drop and a few teams down there have a game in hand on us! Really worried we wont get the 4/5 points in the last 5 games to stay up!

 

This game will likely be last on MotD ..bore draw or with us losing by a single soft goal

Hanging on grimly to the idea expressed by GE above that its all Carver's master plan to lull the Swans into a false sense of security losing 6 games on the trot ..Carver being the Evil genius that he is ..it might just work

 

You're lucky. Our right back is 88 years old, walks barefoot 20 miles to ground and eats mud for breakfast.

 

We'll have him.

 

...only if he's injured though.

 

Right. Under Mike Ashley our players have to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before they went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, train twenty-nine hours a day, and pay Mike Ashley for permission to play, and when they finish a match, Mike Ashley kills them and dances about on their graves singing Hallelujah.

 

Nice reference!