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Global Warming causes Polar Bear dick breakages

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Toby, Apr 20, 2015.

  1. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    First climate change, now penile fracture – polar bears have got it pretty rough. Chemical pollutants may be reducing the density of the bears' penis bones, putting them at risk of breaking this most intimate part of their anatomy.

    Various mammals, though not humans, have a penis bone, also known as penile bone or baculum. Its exact function is unclear: it could be just a by-product of evolution, or it may help support the penis or stimulate the female during mating.

    Christian Sonne at Aarhus University, Denmark, and colleagues had previously shown that polar bears with high levels of pollutants called organohalogens in their bodies had both smaller testes and a smaller penis bone.

    Sonne and his team have now shown that a particular class of organohalogens, the polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs), is associated with a less dense baculum. This could prevent successful mating, the team suggest.

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    PCBs were used industrially for several decades from the late 1920s onwards. They had hundreds of applications, including in production of paints and rubber products. Then evidence emerged that they can harm health and cause cancer, and were banned by a UN treaty signed in 2001. But they are slow to break down, so can accumulate in the environment.

    Polar deposits
    The Arctic has particularly high concentrations of pollutants like PCBs, says Margaret James at the University of Florida in Gainesville. "These chemicals enter the atmosphere at lower latitudes where they were used, and are then deposited down from the cold polar air, so Arctic animals are more highly exposed than animals in more temperate or equatorial regions."

    To see what effect high concentrations of PCBs might be having on the bears' mating, Sonne's team collaborated with researchers in Canada to examine baculum specimens from 279 polar bears from north-east Greenland and Canada, all born between 1990 and 2000.

    They studied this bone because it's easy to come by. "It's the kind of bone that's taken by local trophy hunters and subsistence hunters. It's an actual sign that you have hunted and shot a bear," says Sonne.

    They used a hospital X-ray technique to calculate the density of calcium in each bone. Comparing their figures against data on locally recorded levels of a range of harmful pollutants, they found a link between high PCB levels and low baculum density, although James notes that the analysis was not strong enough statistically to prove that PCBs are the cause of lower bone densities.

    Even though the function of the polar bear's penile bone is unknown, Sonne believes that a weaker baculum is likely to be problematic during mating. "If it breaks, you probably won't have a bear which can copulate."
     
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  2. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Before any of the desperate ****wits post, I know it's because of chemicals, not global warming, but the title sounded better like that.
     
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  3. ERINBLACK

    ERINBLACK Well-Known Member

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    ****e thread.
     
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  4. Ponders Revisited

    Ponders Revisited Well-Known Member

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    Very interesting, T. :emoticon-0148-yes:

    Where did you find this article?
     
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  5. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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  6. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    If only you could remember any of the threads you've posted.

    Alzheimers is rotting your tiny brain faster than predicted :frown:
     
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  7. ERINBLACK

    ERINBLACK Well-Known Member

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  8. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    A man in a cinema notices what looks like a polar bear sitting next to him. "Are you a polar bear?" asked the man. "Yes." replies the bear. "What are you doing at the movies?" the man asked. The polar bear replied, "Well, I liked the book."
     
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  9. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member
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    "If it breaks you will probably have a bear that can't copulate" poor sods - it must be bleak enough without not being able to get the ride.
     
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  10. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    It's just the bear necessities
     
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  11. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    There's only a handful of the ****s left and they're running out of ice, I wouldn't be surprised if they soon all speedied...
     
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  12. Deleted 1

    Deleted 1 Well-Known Member
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    I really shouldn't laugh at the image of polar bears hanging themselves but...
     
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  13. stopmeandslapme

    stopmeandslapme Well-Known Member

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  14. King Shergar

    King Shergar Well-Known Member

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    We need to capture loads of Polar Bears from the North Pole and release them in the South Pole.

    As the problem they have in the North Pole is the ice caps are melting and there is a limited supply of food.

    Down south Antarctica is actually proper land, so there's no concerns about the Ice melting. Plus there are loads of penguins down there for them to eat. So it makes sense to re home them down there :biggrin:
     
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  15. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x
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    Isn't there some sort of Bear viagra. It might stop Toby being so grizzly.
     
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  16. Shawswood

    Shawswood Well-Known Member

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    What, and have to forgo their traditional marching routes through walrus seal and arctic fox communities which just happen to be sited right where they want to walk?

    No way, no surrender...
     
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  17. Hash.

    Hash. pure daycent

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    Toby likes Fish sticks
     
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  18. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    I can't bear any more puns.
     
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  19. pompeymeowth

    pompeymeowth Prepare for trouble x
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    Wander round the garden for a bit until it's all over.
     
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  20. Otto Flayshow

    Otto Flayshow Well-Known Member

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    They must be really pissed off about this - like a bear with a sore head.
     
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