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Off Topic Compare the cheese to no 10 thread

Discussion in 'Liverpool' started by Red Hadron Collider, Apr 15, 2014.

  1. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Extremely busy and working on projects that are very visible (used by top brass at company) so any slacking would be too obvious.
     
    #2581
  2. <laugh>
     
    #2582
  3. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Cracker over the weekend. John Jenks is one of the guys that went to see Neil Young and Crazy Horse with me. He's a top joiner and ex-Hells Angel. Just before I left on Saturday afternoon, Carol Brown came in. She's the drunken old slapper my mate baseball-batted. Apparently after I left, Jenks, who as arseholed had his tongue right down her throat. He complained that her false teeth were moving around <yikes> Denice told the whole story, disappeared and came back saying "Carol left you these" and put a set of those wind-up clattering false teeth on the bar. Perhaps you had to be there, but everyone ****ing pissed themselves <laugh>
     
    #2583
  4. FedLadSonOfAnfield

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    Did you use them to pleasure yourself later with some Carling as lube??
     
    #2584
  5. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    As you do....
     
    #2585
  6. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    No.
     
    #2586
  7. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    You might <whistle>
     
    #2587
  8. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    I just use me hands lad. No need for the tools like.
     
    #2588
  9. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Never any need for tools.
     
    #2589
  10. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Sunday afternoons at the Cheese bring the pleasure of the worst barmaid on the planet. She only does Sunday afternoons and she's only really ever worked them for two things - smoking ***s and putting utter **** on the jukie. She's now given ***s up (for the 40th time). so just concentrates on the jukie. They say women can multi-task. This one can't even mono-task. It's a Herculean task just to get a pint when she's working.

    The first pint she poured me was OK. The second was flat, so I poured it into my previous glass. The third one was flat also. I asked her to change it, so she just went and got another glass and slammed it down on the bar. I asked her to pour it in and she refused. I said I wouldn't pay her until I got a decent pint, so she then refused to serve me. Good job I was going anyway. When I got in there after work last night, Denice said I'd behaved like a 'little ****er'. I asked her how many times she'd served me and how many times I'd complained. She reckoned the latter was about twice. I asked her if there was anything wrong with the pint on each occasion and she said there was. I then suggested she think again about who the little ****er was.

    Monday afternoon was different again. Jenks had been threatening to wire up an old Sony midi-system (think Bullseye) in the function room, which has a door opening out onto the south-facing beer garden. I knew the weather forecast was decent, so I took some CDs and three doobs with me. The system was sorted. A table was pulled up close to the door and there we sat, soaking up the sun listening to a double best of Steely Dan CD, stoned to ****. What a wonderful afternoon.

    The two faces of the Cheese <laugh>

    PS No Fiona in months <yikes>
     
    #2590
    Last edited: May 6, 2015

  11. Cool story <ok>
     
    #2591
  12. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Knob-jockey <ok>
     
    #2592
  13. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    Flat ale, narky bar maids, insulting host and auld tunes from a knackered 90's stereo, sounds idilic mate.
     
    #2593
    saintanton likes this.
  14. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Not quite sure what 'idilic' means, But Monday afternoon was certainly idyllic <laugh>

    The best music is timeless. It never ages <ok>
     
    #2594
  15. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    ****, I would do that in response to you wouldn't I ffs <grr> <doh> <laugh>

    I must be getting old, I was gardening all afternoon, and actually enjoyed it <yikes>
     
    #2595
  16. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    By the way, what are your views on Labour's proposed 'mansion tax'. given that you're labour and by your own admission, you live in a mansion?
     
    #2596
  17. I'm just surprised you can remember what you was doing <whistle>
     
    #2597
  18. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    My home is nowhere near £2m worth, I live in the frozen North ffs.

    The mansion tax only covers the value above £2m anyway, so it's 1% of anything over that. So even a home costing £3m would only incurr an annual charge of £10k. If you can afford to live in such a property then £10k a year will likely be pocket change, and if it isn't then you're in the wrong ****ing house <ok>
     
    #2598
  19. Red Hadron Collider

    Red Hadron Collider The Hammerhead

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    Where is it you actually live?
     
    #2599
  20. Tobes

    Tobes Warden
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    Yorkshire, out towards the coast.
     
    #2600

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