Off Topic Werewolves

Yawn.....Is that daylight coming through my window?

 

No it's Tash.
He's just watched the Star Wars Trailer

 

obviously someone is dead and not on to give last words... or Rolando is not on...

 

VILLAGERS, AWAKEN!

Sorry, overslept. Had a few last night at the local Inn, which remains closed to locals for the time being. Anyway, as I stumbled back from the Moon & Claw, I heard the unmistakable sound of werewolves tearing someone asunder. As I made my way t'ward the sounds - I know no fear - they scarpered, leaving behind the remains of our beloved friend and village priest, Biscan. As his rasping breath drew shorter he beckoned me closed and shouted (for his ears had been eaten and he had no volume control)...."Bloody hairy batards! Always knew the North was a dodgy place to go!". And then he was gone.

His insightful words should prove useful in locating those pesky wolves. Or not.

 

Please feel free to go about your business, I have a hankering for something to eat.

 

Gather Round Villagers, Gather Round!

For I have an important announcement for each and every one of you
- good and bad!


I have struggled for some time now with a secret that I was unsure whether to share with you or not. It is only out of shame that I have not come forward sooner. Shame at having failed my fellow villagers.

I have failed you all. I was secretly charged by the gods to protect you and I have failed to do so. Our numbers have dwindled as one by one we have been picked off by rabid wolves or blind, panicked hysteria. I should have been guiding you but instead I was as useful in our defence as a blindfolded Mike Williamson. For this I apologise.

You see, the gods gave me a gift. They gave me the gift of sight so that I might search my dreams for clues that will protect us all. However, I wasted my youth and instead of studying harder at Seer school I spent my time playing prediction games. If only I had known. I am the opposite of the boy who cried wolf. I haven't found a single one of the little hairy bastards! I am the Seer who cried villager!

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On my first night my dreams visited the Obese Wan in search of fat hairy clues. However, when my dreams entered Obi's village hut all I saw was a man stuffing his fat face with bowl after bowl of broth. I remember thinking to myself "You'll get sick if you keep eating like that" (Yes - I'm not a Seer for nothing). However, this was a glutton but not a wolf. No Wolf to see here.

The next night I visited the hut of that known deceiver Morgan Freeman. It seemed an obvious choice to check out one known for misleading his fellow villagers in corrupted elections. However, all I found was our local stonemason carving out headlines onto small tablets of stone, chuckling to himself in between mutterings of "Trevor wins again, Trevor wins again." A sad and lonely man but not a wolf. No Wolf to see here.

By now disheartened, and regretting my lack of studying earlier in life, my dreams became more erratic and desperate. I roamed the village wondering which hut to enter. I had a few suspicions in mind but finally entered the hut of Biscan, who had shown such suicidal tendencies earlier in the day. At least if I found another villager I could check that he hadn't topped himself. I immediately wished I had entered a different hut however. On entering his hut I found Biscan doing the sort of unspeakable things to himself that no self-respecting man should do. I refuse to go into details as I am a decent man, but the short version was that I found Biscan staring at copies of the Liverpool Predicton League while pleasuring himself with various articles from around his home. Biscan may need counselling but he doesn't need grooming. No Wolf to see here.

Yesterday I wondered whether I should come out as the Seer and ask for guidance from my fellow villagers. However, not being sure who to trust and somehow finding an inner belief to carry on I decided to give it one more day.

Last night I thought long and hard about who to visit in my dreams. It has been clear to me for some time that Albert has acted with suspicion. He may try to show the face of a cherub but I strongly suspect his pants hide an arse covered in thick hair that he loves to expose at night. I also suspect he's a wolf but that's another story. I wondered about investigating Albert.

I wondered about the village cripple - More Injured Than Owen - as he had seemed so keen to guide us towards voting for Valley. Almost evangelical in his crusade against the Welsh Rhondan. He would have been an interesting choice to investigate.

I wondered again about Albert. His actions gnaw at my soul (luckily not literally - yet). However, when thinking about Albert, my mind was drawn to another. One who kept defending him throughout the day. Subtle defending maybe, but still defence of a hairy one in my book. If true it would not only be an unlikely union but a twisted and unholy one too, for these are villagers who make a show of dislike towards one another and often trade insults. The show even goes as far as voting for lynching - but it always gets changed in the end to someone else!

So yes. I decided to visit the hut of Funky. I decided to check out the village idiot. Maybe he was less of an idiot than he made out. Maybe he had a secret to hide.

I entered Funky's hut but there he was quietly sat at his large wooden table, smoking a reefer, and practising his twelve times table on his fingers. How could I have suspected Funky? No Wolf to see he......

Wait a minute!!!

Those aren't fingers - they are claws!!

That's not a reefer - it is Obi's severed hand still grimly grasping a cream cake!!

Funky is eating the Obese Wan!!!

Funky is a Wolf!!!

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You dirty hairy bastard!!

You dirty hairy bastard!!

String him up I say! String the Pennywell Hound up by his manky tail and burn the bastard!

If it was up to me I would string him up right now, but I know that the gods demand justice to not only be done but also to be seen to be done. Therefore I implore villagers. Vote to lynch Funky. He has betrayed us and eaten our brethren. He deserves to die!

String him up for Tasty, for Tash, for that sweet lass from the Fens, for Valley, for Biscan who never got to know the pleasure of a woman, and even for the fat one himself Obi Wan. Kill the wolf!

Your Seer has spoken!

As for the evil ones among you, I have a message.

I will enjoy watching you squirm.

I know who you are and I am coming after you. The guilt of Funky and the fact that it was his continual defence of Albert that led me to him only confirms in my mind that Albert is a wolf. However, I urge you not to vote for him yet! Vote for the dirty Funk.

Tonight I will be visiting another hut and investigating another potential wolf. I expected to be dead but here I live. I expected my exposure of Funky to be done with my dying breath but i live to dream another dream. Know this evil ones. I will NOT be visiting Albert's hut tonight. I will visit another of you. I have my strong suspicions which for now I will keep to myself. If I expose you I will reveal another wolf. If I find a villager I will urge my fellow villagers to lynch Albert.

I am out in the open now. You have to kill me.

The doc should make it his duty now to protect me - but will he? Is he even alive? I don't know - but neither do you!

You could go for me in the hope that he doesn't and waste a kill. Or maybe you could go after the doc? - but who is he?? Maybe the doc will double-bluff and protect himself to force you to waste a kill. Perhaps. It would be the wrong thing to do but oh the look on your twisted faces if he did!

What a dilemma your evil and twisted lives have led you into. You are damned to hell where JPF awaits with a smile upon his face and a hot poker in his hand!​

 

First... Obi wan you really messed up the town by what you said in your "last words" but maybe there was some stuff coming out of it.

second the claim is NEville is the seer.

Third the kill says biscan was a "priest"


So who is left:

The Real Morgan Freeman
Alberts Chip Shop
Funky Dick
The Great Escape
Less Hope Than Neville
BobbyD
MITO
AFCFTW

8 players

3 are wolves

1 is seer

1 is doctor.

This is a 3 v 5 game

............................................

 

Can Rolando confirm if this info is correct?
Is less than a Seer?
Just asking as he may be a wolf trying to make out he's a seer to **** us all up.

 

right..... IS ANYONE ELSE GOING TO DENY THIS?

there's a little time yet but the obvious route is funky gets lynched for now.

The resulting known team is bascially Neville and morgan.

Unless this is denied by another seer candidate this team will now form the basis of a town team.

I'd call strongly on anyone thinking this is false to speak up now.

 

FUNKY DICK

 

I would also call for another Seer to speak up.

It would have to be Funky making the claim surely or another wolf is exposed.

Do you want to take that chance? Please do!

Or will we see Funky come forward as 'The Seer' and if he does what were the chances I would guess the real Seer if I was a wolf??

 

FUNKY

 

Avenge me my friends, avenge me!!!

he said in a ghostly tone before departing for heaven, where replays of liverpools 2005 CL win are replayed over and over....

 

There's still no proof I'm a wolf (and there won't be) but if Less Than IS a seer then we have to all lump on Funky.
I'm awaiting Rolando to confirm that a wolf can't just pretend to be a seer.
If Rolando can't confirm that then Less Than is nailed on to be one of the wolves.
I await clarification.

 

We now have 9.5 hours to bullshit round this but this has formed a clear team though small right now.

The message rolando posted called biscan a priest.

Don't know what that means.

The rules at the start says the seer is a seer and the doctor is a doctor, neither are a priest. The info is consistent with rules form Nev in that there are yes/no answers given not specifics about roles.

I would ask not that neville's post is confrimed or denied by roland but that he simply clarifies his own post as it directly impacts the game. What is a priest?

finally when biscan vanished after i prodded him i thought he had a role of some sort as i felt if he were ordinary town he'd have not let me away with it... same for if he was a wolf.

I'd like to know the story so my tiny brain can be cleat.

 

It is opinion as nev said he didn't investigate you.

the core is Nev and morgan are now linked. Are they now known town or is nev a wolf.

I am sure however a wolf cna pretend to be anythign he wants to.

All i want to hear is clarification of the biscan description made by rolando

 

A clever ruse sir - ask the gamesmaster to clarify a rule that you already know to be true. the wolves can say anything and make any claim - as set out clearly at the start of this thread and the same as other games. Yet you claim that if the rules prove to be the rules then I am definitely a Wolf? You dig your hole deeper and deeper and save me visiting you as the first night i do not expose a wolf (either through death or finding a villager) then it becomes more and more obvious that you are next to lynch!

 

I'd be surprised if the wolves can't pretend to be a seer. They can say what they want right?

That's a great effort by Less than though regardless of whether he is a seer or not. Made me chuckle. I'm inclined to agree with Less than, his prior posts seem to indicate that he could have been the seer. Either this is a superb power play or he really just is the seer.

 

well that would be the very obvious ploy.