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Just Put A Wash On

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by ERINBLACK, Apr 14, 2015.

  1. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    It couldny be called bog paper. It was tracing paper. It cleaned nuthin, all it did was smear the remains over yer arse.

    However, it taught us a valuable lesson. As we grew up we learned about skidmarks. As an adult I am now proficient in getting my pants off without the burd am about to shag seeing ma skiddies.

    It does,of course, get trickier when she wants to remove yer pants herself. That's the moment ye gently put yer hand under her chin so that she can receive a loving kiss while ye quietly kick yer scants aff.
     
    #21
  2. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    This thread makes me want to kill myself.
     
    #22
    Patience, Void and A.L.D.O 4.1 like this.
  3. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Skidmark education should be taken very seriously, young man.
     
    #23
  4. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    You should see a doctor.
     
    #24
  5. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    To compare skidmarks? I don't see any point in that.

    Skidmark etiquette is important. For example, if you know ye've let aff a damp wan before it comes to getting yer pants off for sexy time what do you do?
     
    #25
  6. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    Sticky this **** Mick
     
    #26
    DevAdvocate likes this.
  7. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    Visit the bog and hide soiled keks behind the cistern
     
    #27
  8. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    I've never shat myself tbh.

    Skidmarks should only occur if you're doing exercise, and only if you've had to take a **** in awkward circumstances. I don't **** myself before having sex because I'm not diseased or rotten on the inside.
     
    #28
  9. ERINBLACK

    ERINBLACK Well-Known Member

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    and because the **** has never had sex with anything or anyone.
     
    #29
  10. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    Says the old crippled divorcee <doh>

    When was the last time you had sex ER? 15 years ago?
     
    #30

  11. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    ^^^ amateur
     
    #31
  12. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    Realist I think you will find.
     
    #32
  13. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    A damp pump is a damp pump regardless of what yer doing. Probably more a dietary thing, but no matter (see what I did there?), skidmark etiquette is about how to deal with skiddie situations when yer gettin sexy time with a wummin (or 'partner' in toby's case).

    Clearly, a wummin even gettin a glimpse or whiff of a skiddie while she takes yer pants aff is a mood killer.

    Perhaps you may want to subscribe to my pamphlet "Skidmark Etiquette: The terror no one speaks of" for further instruction.
     
    #33
  14. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Aye, stashing yer soiled keks behind her toilet cistern is the way to go.

    You may be interested in my pamphlet, "Skidmark Etiquette: The biggest mistakes you can make".
     
    #34
  15. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    ADHD and gay but there is help out there.http://www.adhdhelpline.com/contact-us
     
    #35
  16. Toby

    Toby GC's Life Coach

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    #36
  17. Mick O'Toon

    Mick O'Toon Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>

    Expected better than that
     
    #37
  18. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    sexy time :laugh:
     
    #38
    Gambol likes this.
  19. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Izal
     
    #39
  20. DevAdvocate

    DevAdvocate Gigging bassist

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    Why?
     
    #40

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