gone out and realised while walking out the door or down the street that you haven't washed all the soap from the crack of your arse, but can't be bothered going home again to wash it out properly and just rammed your boxers(or whatever you wear) in your arse to get rid of aforementioned soap and then later looked at your boxers and notice a diluted skid mark, in fact quite a nice shade of light brown? I haven't.
Nope never done that arse crack thing. I've also never, absolutely never, woken up with the dry horrors, gone out and bought a 1L carton of red grape juice in the hope of curing my hangover, necked it in one and subsequently followed through on a fart. It wasn't like ****ting through the eye of a needle.
Nope, but I have left the house only to discover I have forgotten to eject the bar of imperial leather I inserted in my anus while masterbating in the shower. It did give a rather nice scent to my farts all day at work though.
As a kid I used to blow holes in my pants. I'm not sure if this is normal, but I do know the edges of the holes were cauterised, much like when your favourite Diadora shirt gets a cherry-bomb burn.
