Off Topic the train journey

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Walter Sobchak

Walter Sobchak

Well-Known Member
Jan 20, 2013
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Currently on the train back home after the match. It's absolutely rammed with city, chelsea and the general public - most of whom seem pissed as newts. Unfortunately the ticket reservation system hasn't worked, and it's kicking off.

The best part so far is some drinking chelsea supporter having a go at a scotsman who has sat in his seat and is not moving.

The drunk southern tosser has two plastic bags wrapped round his feet and he's too pissed to notice, but is right in the scottish ****s face going "you've facking dan it naw you ****" - literally a few inches from his face. And is now pacing up and down the aisle while his "crew" are ramping him up to 'do' the scottish ****.

The scottish begby looking tosser is stood up arms spread out calling him on - he looks a nutter. At the moment he's shouting "IVE ALREADY TELT YE, YE DUNNY PAY FE YE SEAT, YE PAY FE YE TICKET PAL - SO SIT DOON OR **** OWFF".

It is actually terrifying and hilarious in equal measures.

I'm sat at the back with some big dozy twat (city fan) - who has the loudest voice of them all and is heckling them both and laughing his nut off. Imagine Brian Blessed going "are you gonna take that mate?" "he's just called you a bender" "you've both **** owt, fanncies the pair of you".

Interesting times ahead.
 
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<laugh> the conductor comes and the scottish guy hasn't even got a ticket, never mind the reservation.

The chelsea lads are up going "he ain't even got a facking ticket, you avin a larf mate?' and this has really stoked up the original nutter.

Poor conductor.
 
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N5 infested with chelsea fans .stewards threw two old blokes out....did nothing about the rest of them....lots of arguing with stewards while plod points his camera at City fans.

Chelsea fans celebrating when they scored...waving scarfs and ignored by plod and stewards.

Cheeky bastards
 
There were a few half and half wearers on the Brid. train mainly kids, which I can forgive, but two were grown men who in a better world would be throttled with these scarves and hung from a gallows as a friendly warning to others.
 
RIP His Dudeness.

"This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man."
 
It's kicked off ain't it.

I suspect one of the Chelsea lads suggested that Nicola Sturgeon resembles wee Burney from Rab C Nesbitt. The scotch obviously didn't take too kindly to this slight.

I just hope the dudes mate is as handy with his fists as he is with his mouth.
 
Carmine Galante. said:
He's gone quiet.

Worrying times.
Click to expand...

Sorry fellas.

What happened was:

The conductor, who thankfully was a big hard looking bastard himself, managed to calm everyone down. A lot of the chelsea crew went into the First Class area singing about JT winning the double or something - they were sat next to a table full of OAPs who rather than be worried or overawed could be heard in our carriage going "you are terrible, you should be ashamed, kids these days" etc etc.

The scottish nutter came and stood next me as he was getting off at South Milford, he got off but just before he chanted something scottish (sounded like: BIGISSSUE!) and it was hard to make out. The chelsea lot came streaming out of first class to 'facking av him' as promised but the doors closed before they could.

Lots of "FACKING SARF MIFWARD? WE NAW WHERE YOU LIVE NAW YOU KANT" and so forth, not that he could hear. The city fan meanwhile was still heckling them - "you know who I hate? Chelsea supporters. Does anyone else hate them?" - he was pretty funny tbh,

The main Chelsea nutball came and stood next to me but he was too pissed to really do anything but stare blankly out the window, I took a photo of him on my phone for a laugh but I probably shouldnt post it. He started singing a song I didnt recognise, though at one point a lyric was 'Tears of rage run down my face' and he did look quite upset.

After that it was all quiet.

One of the best train journeys ever.
 
I cannot thank you enough for that update.

I was there with you, in spirit you understand, I wasn't actually on the train. I'm sat in my living room in my relaxy pants and slippers.

Even so it sounded a right old carry on.

Last time I came across a drunken hooligan on a train I ended up nutting him, in front of my son.

Who was 7 at the time I think.

Totally unacceptable.

A disgrace.
 
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