Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Maybe because the poor thing didn't have a leg to stand on..

 

I was at the Virgin Active swimming pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end.

The lifeguard must have seen me. He
blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.

 

True story...My eldest lad phoned home from uni the other day and told me that one of his flat mates had came in pissed and had a ****e right in the middle of the communal kitchen floor during the night..There was absolute hell on when it was discovered, but it was easy to find the culprit as he had stood in it and left a trail of ****ty footprints right into his room..The joys of student life eh!!

 

I was there, as well. It was more than just a pee. I nearly swallowed this floating brown thing. My advice eat less Bran, son

 

Otherwise you will end up being a cereal offender..

 

Yeah, and you may need to serve some porridge

 

With my flowing Goldy Locks hanging down my head..

 

That's just too much to bear

 

Are you saying that the first serving was just too hot to handle?

 

No just that my backside was a little sore after someone had been sitting in my seat - yes I said sitting!

 

You 2 should get a room

 

We would but someone huffed and they puffed and blew my house down

 

And his bed was too lumpy..

 

And so was your porridge

 

You are just trying to milk it now..

 

Pull the udder one

 

I did, but was told to sore tit out..

 

you always did keep abreast of things

 

However, I still have my knockers..

 

I think they were from Bristol