Match Day Thread Newcastle United v Arsenal - Official Match Day Thread

I have mine prepared already:

Toon have...rammed up their Arse

Just insert the number between 5 and 10 post match. Doesn't matter which it is, 5 to 10 of anything rammed up your Arse is gonna hurt.

 

6 fingers? Oh no, that's the following match.

 

You've been spending too much time with Smug or Bri. Either that or JPF's 6th one has grown in due to drinking their water/spunk.

 

poor JPF. He used to be a good poster.

 

You mean like "Carver sticks it up the Arse"

 

Fixed

 

More likely but apparently Punilux is gonna kick us up the arse if we dont start being a bit more optimistic.

 

More likely might be "Newcastle beaten in absolute F' ARSE"

I would post this but I would be scared The Great Escape would start criticising MY grammar and spelling as well.

 

Twas a great thread.

So we have to be positive:

Obertan Rams His Massive Heed up the Arse

 

More positive mmmm... Hey they may beat us on the pitch but we'll make more profit than them. How about that?

 

The Newcastle head coach said: “I’ve had big challenges in the past and this is one of the biggest. It’s my job to prepare the team to bounce back from Everton.

“We are a small group and it’s a difficult time, but the only way you get through it is by sticking together and smiling.

“Arsenal are a good footballing side who like to play, so we have to be patient. But we have one or two things up our sleeve."

Jesus, really?! All Everton had to do was play two up front and we were utterly lost. Let's hope Arsenal don't do anything weird, like play it to feet, or crazy sh!t like "triangles" or "pass and move".

When asked about bringing the younger players in, he said "Saturday is not the environment for young lads, especially against an in-form Arsenal side. It's not the right time for them"

.......<speechless>.......

Worth adding here that Carver claims we have THIRTEEN fit senior players for the match. When pushed on investment, he said the board admit that "we're a LITTLE BIT SHORT at the back."

What the fckity fck am I reading?! This club drives you out of your fecking mind.

 

With only 13 players fit (or so he says) how can he NOT use some of the young lads?

Surely they will at least make up the bench. But as others have said, some of them can't do any worse than the likes of Gouf, Sammy, Riviere, Wilo...

And the prospect of Raylor & Jonas as full backs vs Arsenal is cringe worthy. Would be better putting in young lads with some pace, energy and eagerness. OK it might go wrong, but probably no worse than Raylor-Willo-Janmaat-Jonas combo will manage

 

This all reminds me of 6th form football and our teacher who hated people being even a minute late (obviously we'd all started binge drinking by then so it was not uncommon). He'd survey the lads counting heads, then jump in the minibus and shout "RIGHT, we'll go with 10!" The team sat there thinking:

1. We're pissed so stop shouting
2. We're in no fit state to play with 10
3. Nevermind 11, we need subs for when the dehydration kicks in 2nd half

Of course as captain I was never late, able to shake off a hangover, and never needed a sub

Honestly our club is a bit of a joke. 13 fit senior pro's

 

Revising my prediction - Newcastle 0-10 Arsenal

 

Thing is if we're going to get beat (which we are), I'd rather it was an utter fcking walloping just to embarrass the board.

 

The board has an embarrassment factor of zero. I think we could get beat 22 nil and they wouldn't give a flying fook

 

Whilst it may appease some people if we get a good hammering, as someone who will be at the match, I really cannot understand why that would be the case. Personally, I couldn't think of anything worse.

 

I reckon we'll do the same as we did against Man u and get shafted by some more dodgy refereeing
who is the ref by the way ??
shiiiiiiiiiittttttttt.................Mike Jones, nailed on calamity refereeing again

 

'13 fit senior Pros' with 1 of those being Willo. Only classed as a professional because he makes a living out of the game. Not a professional by any other meaning of the word

 

I'll be there too. I want us to get hammered. Why? Because maybe it will finally convince me to stop going. I want the players to get abuse. I want Carver to get abuse. I want people who up until now have been silent to finally realise the mess that we are in.