Surrounded by my weeping family, I would choose to make them promise that after my demise, they wouldn't start a tacky, poorly-spelled facebook page in my memory. None of this 'Well see you in heven. U wer a legend. Luve you 4EVA' public mourning ****wittery. What would you make them promise? Yeah. I'm in on a Friday night. **** you.
I'd tell my lot to go out and buy new phones and make sure they only use them to dial out. I donlt want anyone reading about that unfortuante incident with the Fillipino, the butternut squash and the goat when i'm gone.
I like Jeremy Clarkson's no-nonsense approach to life: "If I want to drink full-fat milk and fill my lungs with tar, I will"
Not to look under my bed. That's where I keep my porn if they dont find it how can they bury it with you? What happens if you are cremated?