which wan of ye scots is it

Not really to be fair, but I've only had it a few months, one of those new iPhone 4s or something, it's pretty tricky

 

I think it's that **** Gambol. It's his style.

 

brilliant

 

Thanks. Am no proud of it but thanks anyway.

 

shut yer pie and sit doon

 

...is what Tina is told every time she tries to get a bloke to ride her.

 

what do you mean 'try'?

 

Well you are pushing 60.

 

you're nearer that landmark than me, ye old codger.

How's your shooder?

 

...cos yer pushing 55.

 

...dried up fanny an that.

 

yer a wot, mate?

 

she's got a fanny like a punched lasagna! (I made that up by myself)

 

It's a crackin phrase. Well done new bhoy making that up

 

Can someone translate? I don't speak Scottish Gaelic.

 

**** you hash...

 

Nunnuvuzdiz.

 

Cannae whack a lasagna

 

c'mon Pud we all know it wisnae you because if it was youd have been texting about food portions

 

Did you know the actor who played Colonel Klink, of "Hogan's Heroes" fame, escaped pre-war Germany because he belonged to a rich Jewish family?

I didn't. Perhaps I made it up.