Personally for me, no particular order, just things that have wound me up this week... 1. Feminism. All of it. Page 3 cancelled because of them bunch of sluts. 2. Mature Students who are self professed oracles of the world and everything in it. 3. Bin Men who don't take your recycling because you've got 1 square inch of paper in your bottle bin. 4. People in the gym who smell like they've just spend the night sleeping in a tramps armpit. 5. Taxi Drivers who drive in the wrong lane and then try to cut into the front of the queue. 6. Fat people who think they've earned an NHS gastric band operation. 7. ****ing mothers who think you know nothing about the world because you don't have a child, despite the fact that I saw you feeding your child a Wham Bar for lunch the other day you sad, fat, sack of ****.
I'm sitting on a train atm on my way to London to see the kaiser Chiefs. There's a stunning girl opposite me with a very low cut top on but she's reading a magazine and I can't get a good view of her. That boils my piss.
Offer to buy her a coffee, if she declines you just tell her you were doing this 'pay it forward' thing, where you do a selfless good deed for a stranger every Friday. If she accepts, then there's a good chance you'll be seeing everything at some point. Make sure you don't stare down her top whilst you're asking though, that's a real deal-breaker!
Not being able to gan on the lash and then log on here as you just know a ban is round the corner **** it i'm gannin out anyway.
When I'm late for a meeting due to arsehole traffic and the guy on reception at our place decides to have a rant at me for my meetingee's being here before me!! I'M ALREADY LATE ****WIT - LET ME IN THE ****ING DOOR AND SHUT THE **** UP
For a bet or for training? I hope you didn't just do it cos you couldn't be arsed to get out of bed and get yourself a drink
Getting frozen chips in a pub meal! Wife watching Geordie Shore or Ex on the Beach and me not help getting interested in it despite my best efforts! Awful programmes obviously semi acted but I cant help making comments on them. However most comments are something along the line of 'what a ****ing dickheeeed!' The bin man who leaves my bin directly outside my gate meaning I cannot open the gate to retrieve said bin! The general service industry, whether its ordering something online, waiting for the plumber to turn up, or missing parts in something I have bought I always seem to get let down by gross incompetence! Professional artists miming on talent shows! Simon Cowell slagging off no hopers trying to sing whilst on the other hand giving a standing ovation when someone like Beyoncé turns up as a special guest and mimes! So wrong! Sunderland
Who's EX - is next? Who gives a **** pal? I'd sooner you shut them all in a room and dropped a bag of ricin in with them if possible. Bunch of pretty boys acting hard and a gaggle of rubber faced slags with the vocabulary of a group of 4 year-olds.
The wife's family who all vote UKIP and say the country's going to the dogs when they've lived on benefits their whole ****ing lives. I piss steam whenever they start up on that...
How do you prove that on the phone do they get John Humphrys on the other end of the line and give you a series of questions to answer? ****ing weirdos.
